Kurt Cobain Final Interview

We once again rummaged through our dusty archives and found a real gem. This never before seen or heard interview with Kurt Cobain was found underneath a stack of old ‘Color Me Badd’ trading cards and nude goth magazines. 

This interview, conducted by renowned rock journalist Claude Balzac, was recorded at Cobain’s house on April 4, 1994. This was Kurt Cobain’s final interview, as he died a few hours later. 

Madhouse: Hi Kurt thanks for talking with us today.

Kurt Cobain: Thank You. I Love Madhouse. Me and Courtney sit around reading the articles to each other. She was a little upset when you guys posted that article about her posing for Playboy and put up a picture of a street hooker. I thought it was funny. Can you do me a favor and write a funny article about Eddie Vedder? 

Madhouse: Sure, I will see what we can do. So I gather you don’t like Eddie Vedder?

Kurt Cobain: Not really. He may be an OK guy but his band sucks. Well sucks is a strong word. They are a pleasant band, with a couple of good songs, but mostly they sound like cheap ‘Bad Company’ rip offs. 

Madhouse: So how are things going in general?

Kurt: Great, life has never been better. I love being a husband and father. Little Frances is great. Courtney is a big pain the arse as you can imagine, but she is a tiger in the bedroom, and a bear on the toilet. You know, it’s the small things in life. Smelling an old classic vinyl album or playing with an Evel Knievel action figure – that is the best toy ever made by the way. Money and fancy parties don’t make you happy, it’s the small things. 

Madhouse: How is your relationship with the other members of the band. 

Kurt: It’s fine. The bass player, the tall goofy guy, I can’t recall his name, but he minds his business, he doesn’t bother me. However, Dave Grohl, the drummer, he has been bugging me to listen to his songs and let him sing. Can you imagine that!? A drummer writing songs and singing. I told him, listen buddy boy, shut up and play yer drums. Leave the songwriting to me. I never understood why musicians choose to bite the hand that feeds them. I always think about the band Blondie, the chubby drummer got angry that the fans paid more attention to the beautiful blonde singer instead of him. Or when the drummer from Creedence approached John Fogerty after writing 27 #1 songs and said hey how about me writing some songs. Shut up and play yer drums!

Madhouse: What about drugs!?

Kurt: No thanks, I have my own.

Madhouse: [laughs] Seriously, you have had some issues. 

Kurt: I come from the Keith Richards school of drugs. Not like these pansies of today. I Od’d like an hour before we were due to perform on SNL. I made the show and performed like pro. I OD’d again in July but still managed to participate in a full day of press interviews and a live show. I am actually OD’ing right now. 

Madhouse: As a child, you were put on Ritalin to control your hyperactivity.

Kurt: Yeah I was a pain the arse. I ate lead paint chips, I ate glue. They tried everything, but I think they should have just tried loving me or kicking me in the arse. My mom smoke and drank and took thalidomide. I turned out fine. 

Madhouse: What would you be doing if you weren’t a rock star?

Kurt: Well one of my first jobs was teaching kids how to swim at the YMCA in Aberdeen.  I am a real good swimmer, I swim like a frog. I might have been a synchronized swimmer or maybe I would have been an Olympic swimmer. Hey it’s not too late, I might still do that. I also tried to join the military but they rejected me saying I had flat feet and webbed toes. Maybe that is why I am such a good swimmer. 

[At this point in the interview, Courtney Love enters the room drops off a shotgun, a box of shells and a handful of drugs. She then squats and takes a dump on the carpet while looking directly in my eyes.]

Madhouse: Ok Kurt, thanks for your time, It was wonderful speaking with you, I think it’s time to wrap it up now. Courtney has made this kind of awkward. 

Kurt: [laughs] Yes i guess she did. I told you she was a bear on the toilet. Did you see how huge that turd was!? Very impressive. Well, See you around – Keep on Madhousing and remember, it’s better to fade away than to burn out – Live Long and prosper!