Keith Richards & Ron Wood Beat Roger Daltrey with Garbage Can!

In a new interview with AARP magazine, Roger Daltrey reflected on The Who’s history. When asked about their contemporaries, Daltrey dissed the Stones, Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin.

Daltrey praised Mick Jagger but went on to bash the Rolling Stones, calling the band a mediocre pub band. “You’ve got to take your hat off to Mick. He’s the number one rock ‘n’ roll performer. But as a band, if you were outside a pub and you heard that music coming out of a pub some night, you’d think, ‘Well, that’s a mediocre pub band!”

Panic in Detroit

When Keith and Woody got wind of the comments, they paid a visit to Daltrey in Detroit. They caught up with Roger at the Motown museum. Daltrey spotted the duo and took off running. Roger broke a heel as he was running, and Keith and Woody easily caught up to him. Woody and Keith worked in tandem like a team of lions on a hunt.

Keith Richards & Ron Wood Beat Roger Daltrey with Garbage Can!

Woody leaped on Daltrey’s back bringing him to the ground. Richards grabbed a metal garbage can lid and proceeded to bash Roger in the face for a few minutes. Roger was crying, and his tears, mascara and blood washed down into the storm drain like a Hitchcock movie.

Woody and Richards took turns kicking Daltrey in the ribs, laughing, and taking smoke breaks. Woody even broke into song, singing The Who song “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. The duo beat Daltrey for 30 minutes, then hopped into a van and headed for their concert. Before departing, Richards spit on the weeping Daltrey and told him, “If you ever put my name in your mouth again, I’l kill ya.”

We Love You

Daltrey, lying quivering in the gutter, pale, bloated, and bleeding, looked like Divine from the John Waters films. He finally staggered to his feet, and searched feverishly for his wig which was knocked off in the melee. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” cried Daltrey through his missing teeth and swollen eyes. “I love The Rolling Stones!”