Keith Richards Called In To Rescue Missing Submarine

Rock legend Keith Richards has been called in to rescue the missing submarine. Officials know when you are running out of time, it’s time to call in the big guns. Richards is the biggest gun in town and may be the submersibles last hope.

A desperate search is on after a submersible on a deep sea expedition to the Titanic wreckage went missing with five people on board this week. The submersible, called the Titan, is controlled by what the company’s CEO referred to as a video game controller. According to reports, the vessel lost contact with its support ship after about one hour and 45 minutes into its descent.

Keith Richards to Rescue Submarine

As authorities scrambled to find a solution, someone had the audacious idea to enlist the help of the one and only Keith Richards. And why not? If anyone knows a thing or two about diving deep and surviving against the odds it’s Keith. Keith was offered a $3000 reward for rescuing the submersible. Richards replied, “I’ll find the sub for $3,000 but I will bring everyone in it back to safety for $10,000.” Keith laughed and then explained he just kidding. He was doing an impersonation of Robert Shaw from the movie “Jaws”. “I’ll do it for nothing, my pleasure.”

Keith Richards Called In To Rescue Missing Submarine

With the Navy’s blessing, Richards embarked on his mission armed with his trusty guitar, a wetsuit adorned with the famous Rolling Stones logo, and a flask of what he claims is his secret “aquatic elixir” (rum, no doubt). The world watched with a mix of curiosity and disbelief as the seasoned rock legend prepared to dive headfirst into the deep blue.

It is a race against time as the submersible will run out of oxygen shortly. Richards continued, “i take a lot of risks but you wouldn’t catch me going under the sea in a tin can. What’s there to see underwater anyway. They could have just watched the movie Titanic. Speaking of that movie, that Rose was a real jerk. There was plenty of room on that piece of wood.”