Keith Richards Appears on Cover of Wheaties Cereal Box

Rolling Stone Keith Richards appears on the cover of Wheaties for the cereal brands’s 100th and 101st anniversary celebration honoring legends. Richards is the first musician and first non athlete to grace the cover.

Wheaties, long known as the Breakfast of Champions has featured 850 athletes and Olympians on their iconic box cover over the years. The first cover to depict a sports star was Lou Gehrig in 1934. Wheaties was created in 1921 as a result of an accidental spill of a wheat bran mixture into a barrel of saw dust. The mixup created a billion dollar cereal brand but at the time the buffoon responsible for the spill was flogged on his privates and fired.

King of Cool

General Mills spokesperson Brenda Mann stated, “Yes, This is the first non athlete that has ever graced our cover. But Who exemplifies what it means to be a champion more than Keith Richards. I will tell you, no one. He has broken barriers and made significant contributions to the world at large. Keith is the king of cool, the riff master general who dedicated his life to being awesome. He wrote Satisfaction, Jumping Jack Flash and like 1000 more amazing classics.”

Keith Richards Appears on Cover of Wheaties Cereal Box

Mann continued, “Richards will take us into our next 100 years. We have been around for 100 years. Well, I haven’t but actually I think Keith may have. Anyway, we want Keith to be on our first cover for our second hundred years. We hope Richards will grace the cover every hundred years until the end of time. The man has some constitution. I wonder if robots will eat Wheaties?”

Breakfast of Champions

When asked for comment, Keith Richards laughed and said, “Breakfast of Champions eh? I am honored to be on the cover. Back in the day, my breakfast of champions was a bottle of jacks, a cigarette, 2 birds and a shot of China White.”

Keith has since cut back on smoking and drinking and is said to be hitting the gym hard. Sources say he spends up to 3 hours per day, 6 days a week at the gym. The man is an International treasure and well deserves this special Wheaties honor.