Keith Moon Final Interview

We once again rummaged through our dusty archives and found a real gem. This never before seen or heard interview with Keith Moon was found underneath a stack of old Jim Jones trading cards and “Mork From Ork” buttons.

This incredible interview, conducted by renowned rock journalist Claude Balzac, was conducted on August 22, 1978. This was Keith’s final interview ever.

Madhouse Magazine: Keith – great to see you again. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us.

Keith Moon: Claude, my man, my pleasure, you know I Love Madhouse. I still use your magazine to snort me drugs. Once at a Holiday Inn I lit the magazine on fire and set the sprinklers off in Roger’s room while he slept. Then I greased the stairs so he went running down in his underwear and slipped and fell down a flight of stairs. He had a bruise the size of my head. He was so mad he didn’t speak to me for a week.

Madhouse: Were you a good student growing up?

Keith Moon: Are you joking? A teacher once commented in my progress report, “Retarded artistically. Idiotic in other respects, and those are his good points.” I later bought that school and fired that teacher. Then I blew up his toilet.

Madhouse: You seem to enjoy blowing up toilets.

Keith Moon: Yes it is my passion. I started out with firecrackers, cherry bombs, M-80’s and eventually graduated to sticks of dynamite. Some guy offered that he can get me some plastic explosives, C-4. I will get my revenge on Holiday Inn.

Madhouse: That sounds dangerous. You are quite the prankster.

Smothers Brothers

Keith Moon: Yes I love em. Did you know that when I blew up my drums on the Smothers Brothers show back in 1967 it almost killed Bette Davis. She was backstage waiting to appear as a guest and the explosion caused her to faint dead away. She hit her head and blood was everywhere. That was a fun night.

Madhouse: Pete claims you damaged his hearing that night.

Keith Moon: Yeah Pete is a big baby. That is why I sewed his head to the carpet one night. I gave him some horse tranquilizers and he passed out. So I literally sewed his head to the carpet with a needle and thread. He got me back though. One night when I was passed out Pete smeared Peanut Butter on my genitals and lets Rats loose on me. They ended up chewing one of my testicles off. An amazing prank, I wish I thought of it. Pete walks around with my testicle in a jar as a reminder. He keeps in on his amp when we go on tour.

Joe Walsh

Madhouse: I understand you taught Joe Walsh all he knows about pranks and destroying hotel rooms.

Keith Moon: [laughs] Yes he is a quick learner. Those Eagles are good pranksters. I think Joe once circumcised Don and one of them put a poisonous snake in the toilet. The best pranks are when the victim is close to death but pulls through.

Madhouse: How does Entwistle like your pranks?

Keith Moon: He pulled the grand daddy of all pranks on me. I was moving my bowels on the loo in my hotel room. Unbeknownst to me he had rigged up a time released stick of dynamite to the toilet. It blew me sky high. I went flying across the room covered in pooh and toilet water. I laughed my arse off, good one Ox.

Who Are You?

Madhouse: The Who has a new album out, just released last week.

Keith Moon: Yeah that’s great, It’s a great album called ‘Who Are You’ go buy it. Now enough about that, I want to talk more about pranks. One night I broke into Mick Jaggers hotel room. It was shortly after the Manson murders so everyone was on edge. I broke in wearing a batman costume and pretended I was going to molest him. He screamed who are you? I said I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil’s business. He almost crapped himself. Mick pulled out a knife and came after me, I screamed it’s me Keith. He thought I meant Richards and replied I know you are not Keith I can tell by the voice. Just as he was about to plunge his dagger in my heart, I pulled off the mask and screamed it’s me Moon. That was a close one.

Madhouse: Well you can be sure that I am never passing out around you

Keith Moon: Oh I will take that as a challenge. I am thinking that after I put some Rhinoceros tranquilizer in your tea and you pass out, I will put a toe tag on you. That would work out nicely. Oh wait, I already did that to Rod Stewart. They ended up burying him alive. Good times.

Madhouse: Well, Thank you Keith, it was a pleasure as always. You are truly the greatest rock n roll madman of all time and an International treasure.

Keith Moon: Thank you Claude, keep being you. Now let’s go get a pint and some Elephant tranquilizers.