John Mayer Buys Jerry Garcia’s Severed Finger At Auction For $1.7 Million

John Mayer and Jerry Garcia have a lot in common. Guitarist John Mayer bought Jerry Garcia’s severed finger today at an auction for a cool $1.7 million. Yes, you read that right – we’re talking about a rock ‘n’ roll relic like no other! The digit has been in a private auction for some 60 + years. Mayer is a big Garcia fan and the current guitarist for Dead & Company.

Garcia lost the middle finger of his right hand when he was just a wee lad. Jerry was camping with his family in the Redwoods of California when he and his brother Tiff decided to have an ax fight. Apparently Jerry was defeated and lost his finger during the battle.

Grateful Dead

The loss of his finger did not slow him down as Garcia went on to form the Grateful Dead and become one of the most influential and iconic guitarists of all time. He was also a rebel and a visionary. On the other hand, John Mayer is a corporate stooge who practiced his blues scales a lot.

John Mayer Buys Jerry Garcia’s Severed Finger At Auction For $1.7 Million

Garcia’s finger was picked up by the owner of the campground, Jeff Heaton. “I saw the shriveled finger on the ground” said Heaton. “At first I thought it was a discarded french fry but then I realized what it was. I threw it in a pickle jar and it sat on my mantle for 60+ years. My son recently realized the value of the finger since it belonged to a rock n roll star. He had it DNA tested and received a certificate of authenticity. Then we put it up for auction and hoped for the best. We knew some weirdo would buy it and we were right.”

John Mayer & Jerry Garcia

Mayer was thumbing threw a copy of unoriginal guitar player magazine when he read about the bizarre auction. The event bragged that a tampon once belonging to Grace Slick would be for sale. Jerry Garcia’s finger, Elvis Presley’s toenail, and Sammy Davis’ glass eye were the featured items. Mayer knew he had to have the finger. Naturally, music aficionados, collectors, and fans flocked to the event.

The gavel came down and the auctioneer, with a wry smile, revealed the pièce de résistance – Jerry Garcia’s very own severed finger. The crowd gasped. Without hesitation, Mayer raised his digital paddle. There was a bidding war between Mayer and Ed Sheeran. However after the dust cleared, the finger became Joh Mayer’s prize possession. “That little ginger freak Sheeran beat me out last time” said Mayer. “He outbid me for the Def Leppard drummer’s severed arm. Well, this time I was ready for him. A cool $1.7 million later and the finger was mine. I am going to put the finger in a small glass jar and wear it around my neck at all times.”