Joaquin Phoenix Wins ‘Actor Most Likely to Murder You in Your Sleep’ Award

Actor Joaquin Phoenix won the most prestigious award in Hollywood. The Goldenest Globe of them all. The big one! The award for the Actor ‘Most Likely to actually murder you in your sleep’! 

Every year, the wackos, perverts and nut jobs in Hollywood all get together and award the Actor who is the most unstable of them all. 

This year, by unanimous decision, the award went to Joaquin Phoenix. Phoenix beat out an elite list of crazies that include Christian Bale, Gary Busey, Mel Gibson, Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hanks. 

Joaquin also won Best Actor for his amazing performance in Joker. Phoenix did not disappoint,  as he gave a rambling, profanity filled, insane acceptance speech. 

Previous winners include OJ Simpson, Robert Blake, Sen Penn and Charlie Sheen. 

As is the case with all award shows, a crew of handlers and keepers wrangle and then escort the crowd of drug addicted, diseased, morally bankrupt ‘Stars’, back to their cells and rubber rooms until the next event where they are wheeled back out to pat themselves on the back again.  *Cover Photo – Joaquin Pheonix’s Joker By Ant-Man licensed Under CC By SA-2.0