Jimmy Page Thrown Out of Guitar Center For Playing Stairway to Heaven

Guitarist Jimmy Page was asked to leave a Guitar Center in Lubbock, Texas for breaking the cardinal sin of guitar stores. Thou shall not play ‘Stairway to Heaven’. 

Guitar Center employee, Rick Farkas, 27, confronted Page and made the decision to eject the rock legend from the store.  The self proclaimed ‘Hipster Doofus’, Farkas, told Madhouse News: “I had no idea who he was. There was some old guy messing around with the guitars and he starts playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’. In the employee handbook, we are told to immediately eject anyone playing ‘Stairway’, ‘Smoke on the Water’, ‘Teen Spirit’ and a bunch of others. So I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and threw him out in the alley.”

Jimmy Page Vs Guitar Center

Shocked Management attended to Jimmy and got him a cup of tea, while Led Zeppelin fans wrestled Farkas to the ground and held him for police. The fans roughed Farkas up pretty good before police arrived and saved the man. 

Farkas explained to police that he had no idea who the man was and was just doing his job. Officer Roy Harper interrogated ‘the young punk’ for hours. Harper screamed, “Everyone knows Jimmy Page and Led Zeppelin. Don’t tell me that ‘Stairway to Heaven’ came out before you were born. That’s no excuse. You heard about The Civil War. You heard about Jesus and George Washington didn’t you? Well that all happened before you were born.” Harper then proceeded to beat Farkas with a rubber hose. 

“I admit I got a little carried away” continued Farkas. “I should not have taunted the man or kicked him but I was having a bad day and he was the third guy today that I had to throw out for playing the song and I snapped. How was I to know he was a rock legend!?”

Rock n Roll College

Guitar Center has suspended Farkas until the man attends Rock n Roll College . Farkas will be remanded to listen to the full Zeppelin catalog. He will be shown photos of many classic rock legends and if he gets the answer wrong, he will be shocked violently on his privates.

Related Stories: Robert Plant Forced to Expose Himself to Prove He Was Not Shoplifting