Jimmy Page Teaching Class at Oxford On Guitars, Groupies & Black Magic

Jimmy Page teaching class. Move over, Aristotle! Step aside, Newton! There’s a new professor in town, and he’s bringing rock ‘n’ roll to the hallowed halls of Oxford University. Led Zeppelin guitarist, Jimmy Page, is now offering a course on guitars and groupies at one of the world’s most prestigious institutions. Can you imagine the look on your parents’ faces when you tell them you’re majoring in “rockstar studies”?

The guitar god has decided to share his decades of experience, both in shredding those iconic riffs and navigating the treacherous waters of groupie-dom. On the first day of class, Professor Page reportedly walked into the lecture hall with a Les Paul in one hand and a copy of Physical Graffiti in the other.

Jimmy Page Teaching Class

Jimmy laid down the law quick as he made an example of the trouble makers in class. One little dummy in the front row cracked wise and accused Jimmy of looking like George Washington. Page gave the kid a smack across the mouth knocking his teeth loose. Jimmy laughed and told the kid to get some wooden teeth as the class erupted in laughter.

Next, Jimmy asked a few rudimentary Rock n Roll questions. When a goofy kid with red hair responded that Rap is better than Rock n Roll, Page took the kid by the seat of the pants and threw him out of the second story window. He landed in the bushes below and only suffered a few cracked ribs. The rest of the class got in line and sat with hands folded as Page began his lecture.

The syllabus reads like a rock ‘n’ roll encyclopedia. Students will learn the ins and outs of iconic rock anthems, from the bluesy tones of “Whole Lotta Love” to the mystical melodies of “Kashmir.” There’s even a lab where students get to trash a hotel room. They can virtually drive a motorcycle down a hallway and a Rolls Royce into a swimming pool. There are lectures on dealing with Prima Donna lead singers, corrupt lawyers and record company weasels.

Professor Page is also sharing some of his wildest groupie encounters. He shares secrets of what fish goes best with which groupie and how to get rid of the clap. Other sections include drugs, the occult, annoying fans and what the f*ck is skiffle. As word of the class spread, the waiting list grew longer than the line for a rock concert porta-potty.