Jimmy Page & GF Scarlett Sabet Expecting Twins

Rock legend Jimmy Page took to social media today to announce that he and his young girlfriend Scarlett Sabet are expecting twins. The hysterical post featured Jimmy holding a sign that read, “I ain’t shooting blanks baby”. Scarlett had a matching target covering her baby bump. A spokesperson for the pair confirmed the news.

This will be the couple’s first child together. Jimmy has often stated that he has a few kids he knows about, and hundreds more that he is not aware of. The couple is not married but have been living together in sin since 2014. Even though Page is 40+ years her senior, he is said to be packing olympic caliber swimmers.

Jimmy Page Expecting Twins

There seems to be an epidemic of celebrity old guys having babies. Mick Jagger had his 8th child at age 73 and Ronnie Wood had twins at 68. Al Pacino, Neil Young and many others are knocking up their young brides. Women may have an expiration date but men can keep on keeping on until the end. The oldest man to father a baby is Ramajit Raghav of Nepal who was 94 years old. His wife Ivana Cox was 29 when she gave birth. Unfortunately the child was born with hooves. Deniro’s child had a tail so there are risks.

Jimmy Page & GF Scarlett Sabet Expecting Twins

Page broke the internet with his news as fans were clamoring for details. “How did this happen” asked fan Tony Madrid. Page replied, “If you don’t know how this happened then I suggest you speak to your parents about the birds and bees. Or go buy a book, actually there are videos you can watch now. I would recommend the Kim Kardashian and Ray J tape.”

Page was ecstatic about the thought of becoming a father at this late stage. “I can’t wait, and twins nonetheless. If they are boys, we are going to play baseball and I will teach them how to play the guitar. We have discussed names and so far we like Basil and Nigel, basically anything but Robert.”

Page continued, “You thought this old guy was shooting blanks but I am here to tell you now that I am loaded for bear. Well, big daddy got a double barrel loaded with grade A+ swimmers. Jimmy got a frantic hotrod in his trousers and it’s ready to percolate. I am going full bore and firing on all cylinders. Everyone always accused me of dabbling with the occult well I don’t know about all that but I can tell you that I have some black magic in my pants.”