Jimmy Page Epic Interview

Illustrations by Paul King Artwerks

The guitar legend opens up about Satan, Justin Bieber, Critics, Rolling Stone, Jann Wenner, Robbie Williams, Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll, Robert Plant and a Led Zeppelin reunion. 

Madhouse: What do you think of music critics and magazines like ‘Rolling Stone’?

Jimmy Page:  Rolling Stone is shit. Plain and simple. Jann Wenner is a fat little turd. Critics are morons and The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame can lick my bunghole. 

Madhouse: What is this feud with Robbie Williams about?

Jimmy Page: Robbie Williams is a complete tool. Who is this guy anyway? Why is he famous and can you tell me one person that likes Robbie Williams? Can you name one song? No you can’t. So anyway, this talentless clown moves next door to me and builds a petting zoo in his house. So I burned his house to the ground. I’m Jimmy Page dammit!

Madhouse:  What do you make of the Stairway to Heaven lawsuit by the band Spirit They claim you stole Stairway from their song ‘Taurus’?

Jimmy Page: That’s a laugh. Did you ever hear that song ‘Taurus’? It is terrible. Absolute rubbish. I never heard of that song or Spirit before the lawsuit. They should be honored if I stole from them. Besides if you steal a bad song and make it 10 million times better is it really stealing? 

Madhouse: Let’s go way back – tell us about your first guitar?

Jimmy Page: My first guitar was a second-hand 1959 Floofloover Grazioso – I have no idea where it came from. One day I found it in the back of my closet. Some say Satan left it there. I searched to buy that guitar back and it turns out it is owned by Justin Bieber now and the little creep wouldn’t sell it back to me. 

Madhouse: You mentioned Satan. What is your relationship with the Prince of Darkness? 

Jimmy Page: I love Satan. He’s the best. I owned Aleister Crowley’s house. Before that it was a church that burned to the ground with the congregation in it. A man was beheaded there, and sometimes you can hear his head rolling down the stairs. I used to love spending Christmas at that house. 

Madhouse: Do you remember the 1970’s?

Jimmy Page: [laughs] Oh man, it is a bit blurry, but I remember bits and pieces. We did have a lot of fun. On the 1973 & 1975 tour, we had “The Starship”. Our tour jet. The plane was equipped with a 100 foot couch, a swimming pool, hot and cold running groupies and a pony. 

Madhouse: Did the fun ever go too far? Did you worry that you were out of control?

Jimmy Page: Yes management used to chain me to toilets so I wouldn’t destroy hotel rooms or dress like a Nazi and do heroin with transvestites.  And of course there was the time we got the pilots so drunk on “The Starship” that Bonham had to fly the plane from Boston to NYC. He did not have a pilot’s license. He said it was just like driving a motorcycle. He did it and we all lived to laugh about it. 

Madhouse: Do you think there will ever be a Led Zeppelin reunion. 

Jimmy Page: Yes! We were just talking about it this morning. Percy called me up and said hey let’s do a reunion. I said OK. That’s that then. We will be touring in 2020. We are releasing a new album too.