Jimmy Buffett Concert Review

“Angry Guy” reviews Jimmy Buffett at The Jones Beach Theater in Wantagh, NY on August 8, 2019.

I should start this review by saying that I hate Jimmy Buffett. I have always hated Jimmy Buffett. But being a man with an open mind, I was convinced to review this show. What better place to check out Buffett than at the beach? The beautiful Jones Beach Theater in NY. 

Getting to Long Island during the summer is a breeze. I drive to Jones Beach via the Verrazano Bridge and the Belt Parkway. It costs $250 dollars in tolls and only takes 9 hours. 

The Jones Beach parking lot is filled with drunken Yacht Rock fans. Hawaiian shirts, Cargo shorts and Margaritas, living the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle. Unfortunately they are all living a lie. 

I researched Jimmy Buffet’s life and he was actually born a trust fund baby in landlocked Chicago. He gets seasick and is terrified of the sea. His father was an investment banker, his Grandfather was an investment banker. Son of a Son of a Douchebag. Warren Buffett is his Uncle. 

Buffett formed his Beach Bum, Key West, Sailor personality with the help of the Chicago PR firm “Dewey, Cheatem & Howe”. I read many conspiracy theories that Jimmy Buffett played a role in Jim Croce’s death. Record execs told Buffett that they had no room for another singer songwriter. Buffett devised a plot to tamper with Croce’s plane. Buffett had visited Croce’s farm in Pennsylvania and met with Croce in Florida immediately before the crash. After Croce’s death, ABC/Dunhill Records tapped Buffett to fill his space. The rest is history. 

I digress. I’m here to review a concert. Oh yeah, the concert sucked. Jimmy Buffett sucks, his music sucks, his stupid beach party theme sucks, & Margaritaville really sucks. I hate Jimmy Buffett and I hate his stupid Hawaiian shirts and I hate his stupid face.