Jerry Garcia Lost Interview – Egypt 1978

We once again rummaged through our dusty archives and found a real gem. This never before seen or heard interview with Jerry Garcia was found underneath a stack of old ‘disco sucks’ bumper stickers and diaper porn magazines. 

This Garcia interview, conducted by renowned rock journalist Claude Balzac, was recorded immediately following the Grateful Dead’s iconic concert in Egypt, on September 16, 1978. Claude sat down with Jerry at the foot of the pyramids during a Lunar Eclipse. 

Madhouse Magazine: Jerry – great to see you again. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us. 

Jerry Garcia: My pleasure man, I love Madhouse. Me, Janis and Pigpen used to sit around back in the house in SF and laugh and laugh while reading your magazine. I remember one time Janis was laughing so hard, Southern Comfort came out of her nose. You guys are hysterical – where do you guys come up with this stuff!?  Uh oh, we better hurry up with this interview – I just took 4 hits of Acid and you just turned into a lizard. Things could get hairy. 

Madhouse Magazine: How amazing is this!? We are in the Desert in front of the great pyramids and there is the sphinx over there and there is a lunar eclipse happening. 

Jerry Garcia: [laughs] This is incredibly surreal. I am not sure this is actually happening though. Maybe we are actually in the green room of The Capitol Theater in Passaic NJ right now and tripping really hard. 

Madhouse: Well my LSD did not kick in yet and I definitely saw you riding a Camel about 15 minutes ago. 

Jerry: That was wild. They are disgusting animals. They smell worse than a hippie chick and this one camel spit on me and bit me. I kicked him right in the balls. 

Madhouse: What is your relationship with the fans? How do you handle the fact that a lot of fans put you on a pedestal and treat you as a deity or a God? 

Jerry: I am not a prophet, not a god. I am just a musician. These dirty hippies need to take a shower and get a job. I am a regular guy. When I am at home, I walk around in my underpants, scratch my buttocks, drink milk out of the carton. I eat SPAM and watch ‘Laverne & Shirley’. I like Frankenstein and Horror Movies. I understand how William Shatner feels with those freaky Star Trek fans who think he really is Captain Kirk. What are these people going to do? Are they just going to follow the Grateful Dead forever? How long can this go on? Another year or 2 maybe, then what will they do? I read that 77 percent of mentally ill live in poverty. The other 23 do quite well for themselves. So there is hope for our fans [laughs].

Madhouse: What is this about you being a big fan of Nixon. 

Jerry: [laughs] That sonofabitch used my picture back in 1968 in a campaign ad without my permission. So naturally people believe I was a fan and supporter of Nixon. Nothing could be further than the truth. I hate politics. I hate politicians and I have never voted. What’s to vote for? Two Evils? If you vote for the lesser of 2 evils, you are still voting for evil. How about you decide if I kick you in the nuts right now or I punch you in the throat? Either way you lose. 

Madhouse: I bet a lot of fans don’t know that you were in the Boy Scouts and the Army

Jerry: Yeah, I could smash my palm into your nose right now and drive the bone into your brain or I could rip your heart out and show it to you before you die. I once captured a whole platoon of enemy soldiers with nothing but a Swiss army knife. I learned a lot. 

Madhouse: So let’s talk about the 60’s for a minute. You are one of the few who was at all of the major festivals. What do you remember about Monterey Pop, Woodstock & Altamont. 

Jerry: I don’t think we were at Monterey, but Woodstock was a lot of fun. We played like crap of course, but backstage was a lot of laughs. Ravi Shankar was playing pranks on everyone. He tied Grace Slick’s shoelaces together when she was sleeping and put a snake into Sly Stone’s sleeping bag. Leslie West and the fat guy from Canned Heat had a hot dog eating contest and Hendrix was running around farting on everyones head. Good times. 

Madhouse: What about Altamont?

Jerry: We were drinking with the Stones a few weeks prior to the event and I made a joke to Mick Jagger that they should hire the Hells Angels and pay them in Beer and Drugs. What could go wrong? Keith and Charlie are laughing, but Mick thought I was serious and actually hired them. We get off the helicopter and see Angels bashing peoples heads in with pool cues and I realize Mick took me seriously. We got right back on the helicopter and got the heck out of there. Flying out we can see an Angel punching Marty Balin in the face. We were laughing hysterically. 

Madhouse: So what do you hope for the future of the Grateful Dead? 

Jerry: I don’t know. If it were up to me I would end it tomorrow, but we got a lot of beggars and hangers on to support. We have an entourage of like 350 people that count on us. Most of them would be living under a bridge if it weren’t for me. If anything ever happens to me though, I told the guys they better not replace me with some lame guitarist. Weir joked that he was going to replace me with Kenny Loggins if I die, but I swear I will haunt those bastards if they replace me with some lame jackass. 

*Note we spent the rest of the night tripping balls and drinking Lime Rickey’s. We laughed and talked until the wee hours and then snuck into the Pyramids. Jerry stole a 3,000 year old Golden Scarab and put it in his pants. It turned into an International incident when Egyptian officials noticed it was missing, but we were long gone.