JAY-Z Injured As Near Sighted Proctologist Probes His Mouth By Mistake

Rapper Jay-Z was injured in a freak accident during a routine visit to the doctor’s office. The unfortunate incident sounds like it is the punchline to an old Rodney Dangerfield joke. “Boy Am I ugly, I went to the proctologist, and the doctor stuck his finger in my mouth. I Can’t get no respect.”

Jay-Z aka Shawn Corey Carter arrived for his regularly scheduled appointment with his proctologist, Dr. Ravi Ragula. Dr. Ragula is known as the world famous, proctologist to the stars.

Proctologist to the Stars

Dr. Ragula has examined Madonna, OJ Simpson, Richard Simmons, Robert DeNiro, Elton John and many other A List celebrities. Dr. Ragula is also the first one to ever perform a baboon butt transplant on a human.

JAY-Z Injured As Near Sighted Proctologist Probes His Mouth By Mistake

Jay-Z came to see the doctor for a routine probing and to have a boil lanced. The doctor came into the examination room and accidentally jammed his finger into Jay-Z’s mouth instead of his buttocks. Jay-Z suffered a chipped tooth, bloody gums, and a fat lip.

Dr. Ragula explained that it was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone. “It has nothing to do with Jay-Z being ugly” said Ragula, “He is a very handsome man, in his own way. His face has character. True this has never happened with any other patients before, but that it jsut an unlucky coincidence.”

Dr. Magoo

In his defense, the doctor is quite near sighted. He saw Jay-Z wearing a mask and confused it for his underpants. He pulled down the mask and jammed his finger into Jay-Z’s mouth mistaking it for a butthole. “I got startled when I felt teeth” said Ragula. “I never got bitten by a sphincter before.”

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