Jack Nicholson Inserts Pen in Man’s Rectum

A fan decided to prank actor Jack Nicholson, but Nicholson quickly turned the tables. 

Nicholson, 82, was attending a premiere for the “Angry Birds Movie 2”, when he was accosted by the jokester. Nicholson was charming, chatting with fans and signing autographs when Garry Gerard thrust a picture of Heath Ledger as the Joker into Nicholson’s face, demanding an autograph. Nicholson portrayed the Joker in Tim Burton’s 1989 version of Batman.

A glaring Nicholson, calmly took the pen and rammed it into Gerard’s rectum with extreme force and reckless abandonment. “How’s that buddy!? how you enjoying that pen now?” chuckled Nicholson. Nicholson then twisted the pen and booted Gerrard in the pants. 

Gerrard had to take a cab to the hospital where he was treated. “Every bump was extremely painful and thrust the pen further into my sphincter. I finally had to sit on my head for the last 5 miles of the ride.”

“It was very embarrassing and painful” said Gerrard. “Try explaining to a Doctor that Jack Nicholson jammed a pen up your arse and it wasn’t part of some weird sex play.”  The entire hospital staff had a good laugh and did not believe the man’s story.