Interview With Will Smith and Chris Rock

Madhouse Magazine volunteered to mediate and document an historic peace summit with Will Smith and Chris Rock. Madhouse editor Claude Balzac, Smith and Rock met at an undisclosed location with our chief negotiator Timmy Kissinger. Timmy is the son of former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, and has a PHD in Psychotherapy.

For his safety, Chris insisted that Will Smith be strapped to a gurney ala Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. Smith agreed.

Madhouse: Welcome Gentlemen, What’s New?

Chris Rock/Will Smith: [Both Laugh]

Madhouse: It sure has been a busy week for you two. Let’s get right to the incident. I think we can all agree that this whole thing is Jada’s fault.

Chris Rock: Absolutely, We all saw Will laughing at the joke until Jada gave him the stink eye. Then he attacked me.

Will Smith: I will admit, I was laughing but you have to understand. When she gives me that look it is terrifying. I had to do something so I had to run on stage and slap you Chris. I didn’t know what else to do. You don’t know what she’s like when she is mad.

Common Ground

Madhouse: I am glad we can start on common ground. Now Chris what were you thinking when Will was coming at you on the stage?

Chris Rock: I thought he was doing a skit and was going to pretend to choke me or something. I had no idea he was going to slap me. It was kind of a weak slap Will, I thought you had more than that?

Will Smith: I am a broken man bro.

Interview With Will Smith and Chris Rock

Sammy Davis vs Nipsey Russell 1972

Madhouse: Chris will you agree that the joke was not your best?

Chris Rock: [laughs] Hey they can’t all be Home runs. Did you know that there is a long history of violence at the Oscars? In 1972, 50 years ago to the day, Sammy Davis Jr. slapped the $hit out of Nipsey Russell for making a funny rhyme about Altovise’s coochie.

Will Smith: And don’t forget in 1952 Jimmy Stewart kneed Bob Hope in the groin for an off color joke.

Madhouse: Will, The Academy board of weasels stated they asked you to leave after the incident but you refused. Is that true?

Will Smith: That is total BS. They ain’t never said $hit to me. The one thing you have to know about this town is that it is made up entirely of perverts, weirdos, pedos and basically the worst people on earth.

Chris Rock: I agree 100% with that

I Resign

Madhouse: Will, you resigned from The Academy. What does that mean?Will they ask you to return the Oscar?

Will Smith: First of all, they ain’t getting my Oscar back. They will have to pull it from my cold dead hands. I did resign from the Academy and it basically means, I can no longer attend the Oscars brunch at Denny’s the morning of the oscars.

Madhouse: Will also apologized to Chris on social media. Chris, do you accept?