Interview With David Gilmour & Roger Waters of Pink Floyd

Madhouse Magazine volunteered to mediate and document an historic peace summit with the estranged members of the band Pink Floyd. David Gilmour and Roger Waters and the drummer guy, met at an undisclosed location with our chief negotiator Claude Kissinger. Claude is the son of former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, and has a PHD in Psychotherapy.

Madhouse: Thank you gentlemen for sitting down with me. Hopefully we can reach some sort of agreement or meeting of the minds.

David Gilmour: I think I can speak for all of us when I say the one thing me and Roger have in common is our love for Madhouse Magazine. You guys inspired us to make ‘Dark Side of The Moon’, and kept us laughing during the entire recording process. We Love You. 

Roger Waters: I concur. 

Madhouse: Thank you very much, that is so nice to hear. We in turn love your music. 

Roger Waters: Before we start, can I ask who is that other bloke over there? 

Madhouse: That’s Nick Mason. Remember, the drummer in Pink Floyd?  

Roger Waters: Hmm Sorry, it doesn’t ring a bell. 

Nick Mason: Roger we have been mates since 1963. I played the drums in Pink Floyd with you for 20 years. 

Roger Waters: Mick? Mick Mason? I am drawing a blank. 

Madhouse: Ok we will return to that later, let’s get back to why we are here. I would like to discuss the issues. Let’s go back to the beginning of the troubles. David, tell Roger how you felt when Roger left the band.

David Gilmour: I was so happy. I did a happy dance. You are a relentless, controlling, annoying jerk. Me and Nick had a big party. 

Roger Waters: Well your lyrics are that of a special third grader. Actually that is an insult to third graders because my children actually wrote better lyrics when they were 7 using crayons. 

David Gilmour: You are tone deaf and sing like a frog with laryngitis. 

Madhouse: Ok let’s take a step back. David tell Roger how you felt when he sued the band stating Pink Floyd was spent creatively without him. 

David Gilmour: I wanted to punch you in the throat. I wanted to put my spent foot in your pompous arse. 

Roger Waters: Anytime you are feeling squirrelly, just jump boy. 

David Gilmour: You are the reason Syd went insane. With all your carrying on and your BS. You drove the poor man bonkers. 

Roger Waters: How dare you!? I Loved Syd like a brother. 

David Gilmour: Yeah and you drove your brother mad too. Even your own Mum hates you. You are somewhat talented, but an extreme pain in the arse.  

Madhouse: Ok now wasn’t that cathartic? How can we move forward now? 

Roger Waters: Well for one thing, David can stop banning me from all of the Pink Floyd websites and social media. He also never likes any of my posts. 

David Gilmour: Ok I will un ban you and will start liking your posts if you give me the rights to the floating pig thing. 

Roger Waters: It’s a deal. And I am sorry for all the lawsuits and bad mouthing you. You are a great guitarist and singer. We did have some fun times. 

David Gilmour: Yes we did. You are incredibly talented and I miss you. Come over here and give me a hug you big lug. 

[*At this time, Roger and David embrace and break down in tears and laughter]

Roger Waters: I still don’t remember this guy Mick. 

David Gilmour: [laughs] that’s OK, he’s only the drummer. 

[**At this time, we spend the rest of the night drinking pints, telling old war stories and laughing our wobbly bits off. At 4AM Roger & David agree to reunite Pink Floyd, record an album and go on tour. Claude Kissinger does it again!]