Interview With All 5 Members of Fleetwood Mac

Madhouse Magazine volunteered to mediate and document an historic peace summit with all 5 members of the band Fleetwood Mac. Stevie Nicks, Lindsey Buckingham, John McVie, Christine McVie and Mick Fleetwood met at an undisclosed location with our chief negotiator Claude Kissinger. Claude is the son of former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, and has a PHD in Psychotherapy.

Madhouse: Thank you ladies and gentlemen for sitting down with us. Hopefully we can reach some sort of agreement or meeting of the minds. 

Lindsey Buckingham: I would have never agreed to this unless Madhouse Magazine was involved. I love you guys. I used to read Madhouse in the hot tub with 5 naked groupies while Stevie was passed out in her own vomit. I really loved that article when you said Stevie had explosive diarrhea from gas station sushi. That was hilarious. 

Stevie Nicks: Shut up Lindsey you freak show. ‘Eraserhead’ called and said he wants his hair back.

Lindsey Buckingham: Why don’t you go snort Peru you silly cow. 

Stevie Nicks: You are a no talent eunuch. 

Madhouse: Ok You two, that was not a great start. I hope we can calm down and control ourselves going forward. We will not get anywhere like this. Let’s take a break and hear from the others. 

Madhouse: Mick, let’s start from the beginning. How did you trick the others into naming the band after you. It is very rare to name a band after the drummer. 

Mick Fleetwood: Well, John isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and Peter Green was wacky, and I don’t even remember the other guys in the band, so it was pretty easy. 

Madhouse: John, how did it make you feel when your wife Christine wrote a song about her new lover and made you play Bass on it? 

John McVie: I didn’t care. I was shagging her mum at the time. I wrote a song called ‘I Shagged Christine McVie’s Mum’, but the band refused to record it. 

Christine McVie: John you are a disease. My Mum was 75 years old at the time and had a broken hip. 

John McVie: Yeah how do you think her hip got broken!? [Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink, say no more]

Madhouse: Ok Thank You and now back to the band. Stevie can you say something nice about Lindsey?

Stevie Nicks: Lindsey is a true artist. He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. Lindsey may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you, he really is an idiot.

Lindsey Buckingham: You are just mad because I shut off the volume to your tambourine on stage. You have the rhythm of a three legged Mormon. 

[*At this point Lindsey pretends to cough as he shouts “Coke Whore” and “Prostitution Whore”. Nicks went berserk and flipped a table over as she ran towards Buckingham, with an umbrella in hand. Shocked and terrified, Buckingham ran for the exit, but was run down and tackled by Nicks. Nicks took the umbrella and rammed it up Buckinghams rectum. Nicks then opened the umbrella.]

Madhouse: Well that was a bit excessive, don’t you think Stevie? Maybe you should apologize to Lindsey? 

Stevie Nicks: Ok. Lindsey I am sorry I stuck the umbrella in your rectum and opened it. 

Lindsey Buckingham: I accept your apology and I would like to take this time to say I am  sorry to you for the time I put that Black Mamba snake in your underpants drawer. 

Stevie Nicks: OMG that was you!? I was paralyzed for 6 months. [laughs] Good one. 

Madhouse: Now why don’t we take a quick break and the 5 of you have a private chat. 

Mick Fleetwood: Well we had a nice chat, all is forgiven, we kissed and made up. Lindsey is back in the band. Stevie and Lindsey and Chris and John are all getting remarried. We are going back on tour and recording a new album. Rumors 2!

Stevie Nicks: I just want to say thank you Madhouse Magazine, you guys are the best. I love you and we all thank you for this. I never thought I would live to see the day that we would be on good terms let alone getting remarried. It is a miracle.