International Women’s Day Activities Postponed Due to Spider in NY Headquarters

International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8. This year however, empowering events scheduled at the United Nations in NY were postponed due to a spider in the building. 

As the women were beginning the day’s events, organizer Lupe Gonzalez noticed a huge spider in the corner. Panic ensued as hundreds of women ran screaming for the exits. “It was pandemonium” said Ms. Gonzalez. “Women were climbing up furniture, jumping out of windows, tackling each other. It was not pretty.”

Ms. Gonzalez called her husband Victor, who took 2 subways from Queens to get the U.N. Victor walked in and immediately smashed the spider in a tissue and went back home. 

The women were then ushered back into the main conference room and the event entitled “Women, Why We Don’t Need Men!” began. 

Unfortunately, halfway through the event, a mouse ran across the floor and another stampede and panic ensued. 7 women were injured in the stampede. Victor once again made the trip back from Queens and caught the mouse in a trap just in time for the next event to begin. The next event was entitled “Men! What Are They Good For!? Absolutely Nothing!”

Victor decided to stay in Manhattan this time, but was not allowed to attend the events. “I just went to a bar and watched Soccer, waiting for the next tragedy. Who knows, if they have a flat tire, need a light bulb changed or carry something heavy, I will be close by.”