Hollywood Under Fire For Denying Existence of Morning Breath

The Halitosis Association of America is demanding that Hollywood right a decades long inaccuracy. For close to a century now, Hollywood has consistently denied the existence of morning breath. Whether it is movies, commercials or television, happy couples wake up and the first thing they do is kiss and talk right in each others faces.

Morning Breath is Real

As anyone with a nose can tell you, this is a blatant disregard of the truth. Morning breath is real and impacts everyone regardless of socioeconomic status. The facts remain that while you were sleeping, the natural microorganisms in your mouth have been happily doing their thing. Basically the organisms were having a party in your mouth and all their friends came. As they break down natural substances they release volatile sulfur compounds and other byproducts known for their less-than-rosy scent.

You know the feeling: you’re cozily tucked in bed and as you wake up, you realize your mouth is filled with a disgusting odor. You ask yourself, Did the tooth fairy take a dump in my mouth? At this point you clamp your mouth shut and plot your path to the bathroom. Once there you brush the horrid stench away before your partner has a chance to notice.

Hollywood Under Fire For Denying Existence of Morning Breath

Well, Hollywood seems to think you are stupid and that this natural occurring phenomena does not exist. As a kid we watched Lucy and Ricky, Mike and Carol and all of the other couples on TV wake up smiling and start tonguing each other down. They whispered sweet nothings into each others diseased putrid face holes like it was the first day of spring.

Truth

But we know the truth and the Halitosis Association is demanding Hollywood act accordingly. Halitosis spokesperson Bryan Bacot is demanding that Hollywood put disclaimers on all Movies and TV shows that include an act of morning breath denial. “They are putting lives in danger” said Bacot. “Every time they show couples engaging in this dangerous behavior it sets a dangerous precedent that our youth and the naive may believe. My friend’s cousin died in a tragic morning breath incident back in ’89.”

Morning breath is known by many names. Fart breath, dragon breath, halitosis, stank breff, death breath and many more. Actor Rob Reiner confirmed that indeed he has morning breath. “Penny Marshall used to say it smelled like I ate a box of a$$holes during the night.”