Happy Birthday Morrissey

Steven Patrick Morrissey was born May 22, 1959 somewhere in England. His parents, Seamus and Siobhan Morrissey were Irish Catholics who emigrated to England during the great Guinness famine of 1958. 

Morrissey was an unpopular loner in school, but surprisingly excelled in athletics. He was captain of the figure skating team and played rugby, soccer and power lifting. He particularly enjoyed hanging around locker rooms and taking showers. 

Solo

In the 1980’s, Morrissey and Johnny Marr formed ‘The Smiths’, who along with The Cure, invented Emo or Goth music. After 4 albums, ‘The Smiths’ broke up and Morrissey embarked on a successful solo career. 

Morrissey is an extreme vegan and has been a vegetarian since the age of 7. He doesn’t eat meat at all except chicken, rat penis and cheeseburgers on Christmas day. He also enjoys a nice Spam sandwich on New Years Eve.

Morrissey has had a long standing feud with Robert Smith of The Cure and once said “I would rather eat my own testicles than listen to The Cure, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.” The boys once had a knock down drag out slap fight backstage. Complete with scratching and hair pulling.

O Canada

Morrissey has not performed in Canada since 2004. Most think it is because of their yearly Seal hunt, but it is actually because of the band “Loverboy”. “Canada assaulted the worlds senses with ‘Loverboy’ and “Working for the Weekend” in 1981 and I cannot condone that” said Morrissey. “That band was a new dimension of crap”.

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