Happy Birthday John Lydon!

John Joseph Lydon was born January 31, 1956 in London England. His parents Nigel and Gwendolyn Rotten were Irish travelers who emigrated to England to escape the great Irish Guinness shortage of 1953.

Young Johnny contracted Impetigo and Rickets and was forced to spend a year in hospital. John suffered from hallucinations, nausea, headaches, periods of coma, and explosive diarrhea that lasted for four years. The Impetigo was also responsible for giving him what he would later describe as the “Lydon stare”. (You know you are making that face yourself right now.

Sewer Rats

Johnny used to help his father dig out London cesspools. The lad’s specialty was smashing sewer rats with a stick that got in the way. “It was an awesome job. It came in useful later in dealing with Nancy.” said Lydon.

Johnny Rotten Illustration By Paul King Art

Johnny Rotten became the lead singer of The Sex Pistols which some say are the most influential band of all time. In the blink of an eye they were gone, but Johnny then formed Public Image Ltd. (PIL). Another amazing unique and influential band.

Lydon has been taking action concerning the Los Angeles homeless crisis that has gripped his swanky neighborhood of Venice Beach. He has begun a program of distributing poison sausages to the vagrants. He has been throwing the sausages from his car window, but soon plans to airdrop them. “I can cover a lot more ground from the air” says Rotten. The poison sausages will not harm pets or real people with houses.

Marky Ramone

Who could forget The great Punk Rock War of 2019. After an argument on national television, John Lydon allegedly snuck into Marky Ramone’s hotel room in the wee hours and beat the Ramone with a sock full of quarters. Happy Birthday Mr Rotten.