Happy Birthday Jimmy Page

James Patrick Page was born January 9, 1944 somewhere in England. A young Led Zeppelin performed their first gig at their elementary school talent show. They won the talent show and wowed the school audience by performing “Whole Lotta Milk”, “Good Times, Nap Times”, & “Candy Store Rock”. Headmaster Jay Smyth was not amused by the band’s sexual overtures and risque language and shut the show down even though the crowd was demanding an encore. Smyth shut off the lights and ushered the children to safety. Some of the more sensitive children had thrown up, and some were crying. In a sign of things to come, some of the younger female teachers were dancing and swooning themselves.

Like a Panther

Jimmy Page is widely considered to be one of the greatest and most influential guitarists of all time. Every kid that ever picked up a guitar in the 70’s or after, posed like Page in the mirror and dreamed of playing Madison Square Garden. Page set the standard for Rock n Roll Guitar Gods. With a cigarette dangling from his lip and his Gibson Les Paul slung low, he moved across the stage like a panther.

Jimmy Page Illustration By Paul King Art

Led Zeppelin was the biggest band in the world. They travelled in private jets, sold millions of records and sold out stadiums. They invented hard rock and heavy metal. Page wrote thunderous riffs, relentless solos and created music that will last for centuries. A sound never heard before that drove kids to insanity in the 70’s.

Robbie Williams Feud

In recent news, Page burned down his neighbor’s house. After a 3 year feud with singer Robbie Williams, Page, dressed like Rambo and armed with a flame thrower, kicked the door in at Williams’ home. Williams ran for his life, as Page set blaze to the house. “I told you this guy was mentally ill” cried Williams. By the time fire engines arrived, the house was burnt to the ground, and Page was sitting there smiling and smoking a cigarette. Police questioned Jimmy Page and released him. Asked why they let him go, Inspector Rathbone said “He’s Jimmy Page! Whole lotta love, Kashmir, Stairway to Heaven. He is a god. He can do whatever he wants!” Police then fined Williams $100 for being a douche.

Page lived a life of Rock n Roll excess for us. He sacrificed for us. He changed the musical landscape and all our lives in the process. Cheers Jimmy, you are an international treasure.