Happy Birthday Jeff Lynne

Jeffrey Leroy Lynne was born December 30, 1947 somewhere in England. There is no record of Jeff’s life so we will attempt to recreate. Someone gave Jeff a Guitar when he was young. He was crazy for the Beatles and started a bunch of crappy bands as a teenager.

In the 1970’s, Lynne formed The Move and ELO. The Electric Light Orchestra was one of the first bands to have 75 members. ELO had a lot of hit songs and albums, and toured the world. Then the band started fighting, maybe some alcohol and drugs were involved, and Lynne got sick of the others and went solo.

Traveling Wilbury’s

Jeff then formed the Traveling Wilbury’s with Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty and Roy Orbison. Wait! There was a band with all of these guys in it!? They had huge success and released 2 albums.

Jeff Lynne Illustration By Paul King Art

Jeff still records and tours and everyone loves him. He is a great singer, songwriter and has been a huge influence on everyone. He is married to a woman and has a few kids and they live in a big house in the British countryside that used to belong to Lord Figgy. He eats bangers and mash and loves bread pudding. He received OBE from the Queen and has been inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame but thinks Jann Wenner is a douche.

Rusty

Did you know Jeff had his identity stolen by his estranged dog, ‘Rusty’. “Rusty’ and Lynne had a falling out over an embarrassing incident involving pooping on the good carpet. ‘Rusty’ insists it was Lynne who pooped on the carpet and then blamed the dog. Immediately following this incident, Lynne’s girlfriend, Camelia Kath banned ‘Rusty’ from the couch. Rusty immediately began planning his revenge. Rusty stole Jeff’s identity and went on a spending spree. Amassing bills of over $200,000. It is alleged Rusty spent the money on Cocaine, treats and bitches.