Happy Birthday Eminem
Marshall Bruce Mathers III was born October 17, 1972 in St Joseph, Missouri. Eminem’s parents were in an Abba Tribute band called Daddy Warbucks, playing in Ramada Inns along the Dakotas–Montana border before their separation. Marshall and his mother then moved to a primarily black, Detroit neighborhood where he was often beaten and forced to listen to Smokey Robinson music.
In 1988, he went by the stage name MC Double M and formed his first group, “Mr. Goodbars with DJ Butter Fingers”. Marshall’s life changed forever when he first heard “Ice Ice Baby” by “Vanilla Ice”. “It was like hearing God speak to you” said Mathers. “For a week straight, I sat in my room listening to it over and over. I knew it was my calling. I spent the next year sitting in my room writing. When I emerged I was Eminem!”
Eminem released The Slim Shady LP in February 1999. It was one of the year’s most popular albums and certified triple platinum by the end of the year. Eminem went on to become one of the best-selling music artists of all time, with estimated worldwide sales of more than 220 million records.
Eminem has been accused of homophobia. On April 5, 2020, Matthew Hughes broke into Eminem’s house, reportedly breaking a kitchen window with a paving stone. Eminem woke up with Hughes standing behind him naked and he said that he was there to do the devils work. Eminem does not like to talk about what happened next.
Eminem has been outspoken in his dislike of President Trump. Eminem streaked onto the golf course at Mar-a-Lago and stormed the 18th green, butt naked, just as Trump finished his putt. Eminem wearing nothing but a smile, had “19th hole” written on his back with an arrow pointing down to his butt. He picked up Trump’s golf ball and rammed it into his own rectum. He then ran away laughing maniacally. The President was shocked by the incident, and seemed a little amused, but the police, security detail and secret service were not amused. Secret Service gave chase but could not catch up with Eminem. A Mar-a-Lago guest, who was fishing at the pond, ended the chase when he snared Eminem with a fish hook to the scrotum.
Eminem was recently devastated after learning that he is still white. He decided once and for all to prove to the world that he really is a black rapper. Mathers spit in a test tube and mailed it off to a genetic testing company in Silicon Valley. When I got the results I broke down and cried” weeped Eminem. “I’m Caucasian! Oh Why was I cursed like this!? I’m not even 1% black! I am 100% white bread vanilla. Donald Trump is blacker than me! Happy Birthday Eminem!
