Gene Simmons Sells Ace Frehley & Peter Criss to Swedish Company

Gene Simmons, the legendary bassist of KISS, has reportedly sold his former bandmates Ace Frehley and Peter Criss to a mysterious Swedish company. The deal, rumored to be worth millions of dollars and a lifetime supply of Swedish meatballs, has sent shockwaves through the music industry.

The news came one day after Rock and Roll Hall of Famers Kiss announced they sold their music catalog, name, image and likeness — including their iconic makeup designs — to Pophouse Entertainment. Pophouse is the Sweden-based music investment firm behind ABBA’s “Voyage” hologram show. While terms of the deal were not officially announced, Eddie Trunk and Baba Booey said it was worth upwards of $300 million.

Gene Simmons

“It was a complete yard sale” said Simmons. “We are selling everything, everything must go, no offer will be refused. Basically The Kiss coffins, condoms, all our musical instruments, even our Kiss action figures are available for a price. When I saw those 2 broken down fossils Ace and Peter just collecting dust in the warehouse, I figured I could get a few bucks for them.”

Evidently Gene sold Peter and Ace for a nominal fee to the unnamed Swedish company that made the best offer. “I believe they are going to be indentured servants now or working on a fishing vessel somewhere. Who knows, that’s not my problem anymore, the new owners can do whatever they want with them. Good riddance to bad rubbish.”

Peter Criss and Ace Frehley formed KISS in the early 1970s along with Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. Ace and Peter left and Gene and Paul have been running the band as a business using hired musicians. There is a lot of bad blood between the former bandmates and this may be the last straw. Frehley commented that he will speak to his attorney to see if this sale is legal. Criss however was excited and looking forward to a new life in Sweden.

Ace commented, “Gene is always up to something. Once in a church in Romania he chased me about the rectory and grabbed me by the organ. Then there was the time he lured us back into the band for a reunion so he could harvest our organs. The guy is sick, I am not going to Sweden, I will tell you that.”