Gene Simmons Campaigns To Be Bud Light’s New Spokesperson
Musician Gene Simmons is campaigning aggressively to be named the new Bud Light Spokesperson. Simmons donned a wig, makeup and a dress to show Bud Light executives that he is the perfect candidate to push their product.
Gene Simmons Bud Light
Simmons took to social media to further his cause. He posted a photo of himself in full drag with the caption, “Hey Bud, Let’s Party”. Gene then wrote an open letter to Budweiser. “Dear Bud Light, I understand you are looking for a new spokesperson. Who better than your old Uncle Gene to sell your product. I can sell ice in the winter and fire in hell.”
Gene continued, “I have a built in audience that will buy any crap I throw at them. KISS has millions of fans all over the world and I have sold them KISS brand coffins, condoms, toilet paper, air guitars, and action figures. Those dummies even bought ‘I Was Made For Loving You’ and ‘Lick It Up’. If those dimwits will buy those songs they will buy your pee water by the truck load, call me.”
Fans loved seeing Simmons in makeup and revealing dress and took to social media. Fan Christoper Thompson tweeted, “Not Gonna Lie, Gene makes a pretty lady. I had some blood flow going after looking at his picture. I would absolutely buy anything with Gene’s face on it.”
Official Beer of KISS
Gene told Madhouse News, “Look this is the perfect partnership. We can rebrand and call it KISS Light beer. I don’t mind wearing a dress and makeup, whatever they want. I have been wearing makeup and high heels for 50 years. We will sell that pee water by the tanker truck. It will become the official beer of KISS.”
Simmons continued, “For crying out loud, fans once paid $50 a pop to smell my fingers. They paid Ace seven grand to come and clean their toilet. Our fans have been paying to see elderly men in makeup and spandex playing the same songs for 50 years. You are damn right they will buy that swill as long as my picture is on the can.” Bud Light Executives did not return Gene’s calls yet.
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Kiss: kiss.com
