Geddy Lee Working P/T at Home Depot to Make Ends Meet
Geddy Lee, the lead vocalist, bassist, and keyboardist for the Canadian rock group Rush was spotted working at a Home Depot in Toronto, Canada.
Madhouse News caught up with Lee and asked why a millionaire rock star would be working at Home Depot. “It’s simple” said Geddy, “I need the money. Sure, I know I have a net worth of $50 million and I own a 12,000 square feet home with five bedrooms, nine bathrooms and two solariums. But do you have any idea how much it costs to heat that sonofabitch? And with the price of gas and heating fuel skyrocketing, and food prices out of control I had to do something.”
“Plus, it gives me something to do. It has been quite some time since I was in that band. I can only go on so many walks and I have seen every show on Netflix. Daytime TV is terrible and my wife is getting sick of looking at me. It was her idea for me to get a job.”
Great Benefits
“I have always been handy so I figured why not get a job at Home Depot. It has been terrific so far. I get out of the house and I like helping people. Plus they have great benefits. Do you think Rush gave me medical benefits? At my age, you need good benefits, I don’t trust that free stuff, I want the best.”
“Another great perk is that I learn a lot. Did you know there are two types of screw drivers? There is a flat head screwdriver and then there is the Phillips head. Who knew? Then of course I get to tell all my hardware Dad jokes. I joke a lot with the ladies about nuts and hoses. My favorite joke I tell a lot is that I tell a customer that Elvis was in here yesterday. He returned a Sander. Ha get it, returned a sander, like return to sender. That was an Elvis song.”
Gary in Paint
Geddy works P/T at the store and helps out in all departments. The other employees know him as Gary, a nice guy and good worker who is always eager to help. When told that Gary in Paint is an International Rock Star, fellow employee Ed Holzman was shocked. “Gary is a rockstar? People idolize him? He seems like such a nice quiet down to earth guy. I can’t imagine him being in a band. He seems more like a guy that would work at Home Depot. I think he ate my sandwich out of the staff refrigerator though.”
Now that the word is out, Rush fans from all over the world are descending upon the store in hopes of getting a glimpse of their hero. Rich Pacesa drove 32 hours straight to buy a shop vac and talk to Gary for 30 seconds. “It was awesome” said Pacesa. “I told Geddy that I am a big fan and I like Tom Sawyer. We are good friends now.” Sales at the store are off the charts and Home Depot stock shot up to the highest price ever.
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I have a basic outline for a story based off the 1987 mega low budget horror, Redneck Zombies. In his tale, Geddy Lee is drinking a bottle of his finest one evening, and begins at feel a bit STRANGE. What he didn’t know was that particular wine he drank was once stored in a 55 gallon steel drum that once stored nuclear waste Geddy Lee starts transforming into a reptile being. He becomes… GEDDY LEEZARD… a bass-playing, keyboard-sequencing, radioactive lizard of the night. Very similar to Teen Wolf and how he transforms unexpectedly 😄