Fornication Added as Olympic Sport for 2021 Games in Tokyo
Olympians, it’s time to get frisky. The International Olympic Committee announced today that fornication, or banging, will make its debut as an Olympic sport at the 2021 Summer Games in Tokyo. Banging was previously featured at the 2018 Summer Youth Olympics in Buenos Aires.
The Tokyo Games will also feature skateboarding, monkey bar climbing, and scrabble. IOC president Hugh Janus said the new sports would be part of the Olympic Games’ plans to “focus on blah, blah blah..” and to deliver a Games “fit for a post-corona world.”
The U.S. men’s fornication team is a strong favorite, and will be a who’s who of all-star fornicators. Rock stars Steven Tyler, Lenny Kravitz, Tommy Lee and Gene Simmons will anchor the team.
The British bangers team will include legendary ‘Cocksmen’, Mick Jagger, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, and Rod Stewart.
You may have noticed that most of the Olympic fornicators are over age 70. “Anything goes in this event” said Olympic President, Hugh Janus. “They can snort coke, Viagara, Cialis, whatever. It’s a free for all.” Steven Tyler commented, “Kids today can’t bang like us. My get up and go might have got up and went, but its back thanks to that little blue pill.”
The women’s fornication team will feature many of the same stars who won the 2019 World Fornication Cup, likely including Courtney Love, Miley Cyrus and Cardi B. How this sport will be judged and scored is anyone’s guess, but it’s sure to be a ratings bonanza.
