Flea Rejects Long Time Nickname, Demands To Be Called Michael

Red Hot Chili Peppers bass player Flea has rejected his long time nickname and wants to be called by his given name, Michael, Just Michael.

Michael Peter Balzary was born October 16, 1962, in Melbourne, Australia. Australia!? WTF! How is Flea Australian!? His Father, Angus Balzary was first cousins with Actor Paul Hogan, who starred in many films as “Crocodile Dundee”.

Flea

Little Mike got the nickname “Flea” after coming down with a serious case of Scabies. “You could see them jumping off of him” said Anthony Kiedis, “He was a filthy little kid, he looked like pigpen from Charlie Brown with a dust cloud, fleas and scabies surrounding him. But I loved him, I still love him, he’s the best.”

Flea or should we say Michael told Madhouse News, “It was time. I have been called Flea for 50 years. My wife calls me Flea, my kids call me Flea, it was embarrassing. When I would go to Parent Teacher conferences, the teachers would call me Mr. Flea. I felt like a pet or some sort of cartoon character. When I went to Starbucks, I had to tell them to write Flea on the cup, how mortifying.”

They Call Me Michael

“I am no longer that dirty little kid” said Flea. “I am a grown ass man worth about $150 Million. As a multi millionaire, I deserve some respect. Michael is a name worthy of wealth and taste. Flea eats out of dumpsters in Hollywood and lives under a bridge. Michael has a mansion and a yacht, dines with kings and queens and owns a string of polo ponies. I want to be known for just one name, like Cher, Prince or Madonna. It is just Michael from this day forward. Maybe I want to be a serious artist and put out an album of standards like Sinatra. Flea sings Sinatra sounds ridiculous.”

When reached for comment, Singer Anthony Kiedis explained, “I have been calling him Flea for 50 years. And I will keep calling him Flea. Maybe I will call him Little Lord Fu$k Pants, but I ain’t calling him Michael. Well, unless he agrees to call me Thy Great and Powerful Kiedis.”