Flavor Flav Banned From England For Pleasuring Himself on Big Ben

Flavor Flav aka William Jonathan Drayton Jr. was detained by British Police Tuesday and charged with aggravated masturbating. Flavor Flav was spotted inside Big Ben pleasuring himself while holding a picture of the Queen. 

The interior of the tower is not open to overseas visitors, but Flavor Flav apparently snuck in though an open window.  

A British Police spokesperson stated “We observed a man wanking his willie without a license and apprehended the bloke. He appeared as if he was ready to climax on the inner workings of Big Ben. We stepped in and wrestled the man to the ground. It looks as if we got there just in the nick of time. If we had not apprehended the man at that time, it could have been a big mess. He could have gunked up the gears and the clock could have stopped working.”

When asked for a comment Flavor Flav responded “I have always had a thing for clocks, and the Queen is hot boy”.

Prince Charles gasped when he heard the news “I am shocked and appalled. This is very disrespectful and in very bad taste. My poor mum is 91. This chap Flavor Flav is not well”.

Britain booted Flavor Flav out of the country and he is banned from returning. Flavor was last seen at the airport duty free shop milling around by the clock shaped snowglobes.