Entire Audience Arrested At Phish Concert

A surprise police raid at a recent Phish concert in Las Vegas ended up with the entire audience being arrested.

The concert was being held at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. MGM which stands for Massive Gigantic Monstrous has a capacity of 16,800. Phish is known for endless pointless jams, songs with no melodies, looking goofy and a rabid fan base of drug crazed hippies.

Inspector Patrick Neuls of the Las Vegas Bunco Squad organized and led the raid. “I know what goes on at these Phish concerts” said Neuls. “We don’t go for that stuff here in Vegas. Well, strike that because as you know Vegas is known for bad behavior, but regardless I felt it was time to make a stand. These hippy freaks need to be made an example of. They are all hopped up on goofballs and smoking that wacky weed.”

Is This Still The Same Song?

The raid took place approximately three quarters of the way into the show. “We had hoped to spring into action after the first song” said Inspector Neuls. “But one song leads into the next and you never know where one begins and one ends. They drone on endlessly. No wonder these fans need to stoned to listen to this crap. Some of our officers fell asleep and others were getting a contact high so we finally had to start arresting people or the entire operation was in jeopardy.”

Entire Audience Arrested At Phish Concert

The raid netted 16,800 arrests including celebrity Phish fans, retired basketball player Bill Walton, Actor Danny Devito and Carrot Top. They were released without incident since they are famous. The other 16,797 were however rounded up and sent to the hoosegow. Most arrests were for drug charges of course, but others were detained on morals charges, warrants, poor hygiene, bestiality, loitering and bad taste.

Life is Cheap

“Life is cheap to that sort” said Inspector Neuls. “These phish heads, phishdiks, wookies, whatever they call themselves are a menace to society. But America can rest easy knowing that I am on the case and Vegas is a little safer today.”