Eddie Vedder in Hot Water For Handing Out Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Cookies

Pearl Jam singer Eddie Vedder is in hot water with multiple special interest groups, the PTA, parents groups and the gingerbread association for handing out anatomically correct gingerbread cookies at a local mall in Arizona.

Vedder is the author and illustrator of a new children’s book. He was at the mall to promote the book. The book is titled Jeremy The Gingerbread Man. Jeremy is an outcast and he is constantly being chased. People are always trying to eat him. Jeremy has a lot of crazy adventures then grows up to be a porn star with a drug problem. We will not spoil the surprise ending for you.

Jeremy

Anyway, Vedder was doing a book signing and was handing out his new line of anatomically correct gingerbread cookies. “I thought the cookies were a nice touch” said Vedder. “They are a cross promotional thing. Kids love cookies.”

Eddie Vedder in Hot Water For Handing Out Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Cookies

“WTF is wrong with this guy” said father Jeff Cathcart. “He is handing out gingerbread cookies with boobies and giant schlongs. I had to bite the weiner off the gingerbread man before my kid could see it. This guy has a screw loose.”

Mom, Angela Wood told Madhouse News, “What kind of a children’s book talks about drug addiction and sex work!? Especially to promote it like it’s a good thing. These Hollywood types are sickos.”

When news of the cookies broke, the book signing was swarmed by members of the local PTA, a representative from the sex workers union, many trans group leaders and the president of the Gingerbread Association of Seattle (GAS). Michael Maccioli a spokesperson for the Trans community was outraged. “This fancy rock star is handing out gingerbread men and women when we are fighting to get rid of gender. I flipped his table over and he ran. I did eat three of the cookies though. They are yummy.”