Drake Loses Testicle in Water Park Accident!

Singer/Rapper Drake was injured in a freak accident over the weekend. Drake faced down every man’s greatest fear. Evidently The poor guy suffered a loose ball incident. As a fan commented, “Drake called the one ball in the corner pocket”.

Drake, born Aubrey Drake Graham is a Canadian rapper, singer, songwriter, record producer, actor, and entrepreneur. Drake gained recognition as an actor on the teen drama television series Degrassi: The Next Generation in the early 2000s. He also portrayed “Tinky Winky” on the “Teletubbies”. Nobody can actually name any of his songs.

Drake Loses Testicle

Drake was enjoying a day at the water park in West Palm Beach, Florida when things took an ugly turn. The singer ventured onto the ‘Nut Crusher’ water slide, which is the tallest slide in North America at 156 Feet. On the way down, Drake reached speeds of over 70 MPH when the water wedged his bathing suit where it should never be. The tension and the pressure popped his right testicle clean out.

Drake was wearing a leopard skin thong with ‘Home of The Whopper’ written on the front at the time. It was ripped to shreds. “I could hear it clear across the park” said park guest John Blacketer, “It sounded like a champagne cork was popped. Then I see a guy that looks like Drake, buck nekkid running through the park screaming and crying. It was frightening. I covered my kids eyes and got out of there.”

Following the incident, Drake was seen chasing the testicle as it began bouncing all over the park like a super ball. He ran across picnic tables as guests were dining, knocked down old ladies, trampled young children, all in pursuit of his bouncing ball. He finally had the missing gonad in his sights, when a squirrel came out of nowhere, scooped the ‘nut’ up and ran into the woods.

Finally Drake was treated and released at the water park medical office. He will now be fitted for a prosthetic ‘chicken tender’.