Doors’ Drummer John Densmore Shot in Taint by Nail Gun!

Asbury Park, NJ — The Doors’ drummer John Densmore suffered an injury Wednesday, when he was accidentally shot in the ‘taint with a nail gun, police said. The mishap occurred around 9:38 a.m. at a site on Cookman Avenue, according to sources. 

Densmore, was in Asbury Park to attend the premiere of the new Doors movie ‘Break on Thru’. He was visiting the construction site of a new club “Cha Cha’s Boom Boom Room”, which he is a managing partner and investor.  Initially John started horseplay with one of the sheetrock workers, and the duo began shooting nail guns at each other.  At this point Densmore tried to do a trick shot between his legs and accidentally shot himself in the ‘taint. For anyone that does not know, in medical terms, the taint is the area between the scrotum and the butthole.  

Taint No Big Deal

“It didn’t really hurt. At first It just felt like it kind of stung me. Then I looked down and I didn’t see anything and I put my hand there and… That’s not good,” Densmore says. “When I saw my balls swelling, it’s kind of like… I’m not going to get anything done today! I can see that already! The drive to the hospital was not fun. I felt every bump and pothole.”

Doctors started working on Densmore, who was busy texting his wife. “At the ER, shot myself in the butt with a nail gun” he texted. That message auto-corrected and his wife had no idea what it meant. When the couple spoke, Densmore calmly said he was OK, but needed a new pair of underpants.

Police said they investigated and determined it was an accident. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration was notified. Officers spoke with the Densmore’s wife, who was with her husband at the hospital, and were told he is doing well.

Break on Through

Surgeons removed the nail without Densmore losing a testicle, and are monitoring for infection. He said the accident has served as a reminder to prioritize what is important in life, like his Doors royalty money. When asked for a comment on the situation, Doors’ guitarist Robby Krieger was laughing too hard to give any further statements. 

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