DNA Test Confirms Jim Morrison Is Alive & Well in Upstate NY

DNA evidence proves that Jim Morrison is alive and well and living in upstate New York. Douglas James reached out to Madhouse Magazine claiming that he is indeed the Doors singer. Jim Morrison allegedly died in 1971 in Paris, France under mysterious conditions. Rumors have run rampant since, alleging that Morrison faked his own death and was living under an assumed name.

Douglas James walked into the Madhouse Magazine office in New York City and blurted out, “Hi I’m Jim Morrison”. Madhouse editor Claude Balzac was ready to have security taser the man’s testicles and throw him down the elevator shift. “However, there was something in his eyes” said Balzac. “I hung out with Jim a few times in the 1960s and after looking into his eyes I knew it was him.”

Jim Morrison Alive & Well

Balzac interviewed Mr. James for hours and was thoroughly convinced the man was in fact Jim Morrison. He knew about the mole on Grace Slick’s butt that looked like Abe Lincoln. Only Jim could know that. However, In order to confirm, Douglas James was given a DNA test. The test proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the man is indeed legendary rock icon Jim Morrison. If you need any further proof, his email address is MojoRising69@gmail.com.

DNA Test Confirms Jim Morrison Is Alive & Well in Upstate NY

Morrison explained that he was in Paris in 1971 and he indeed faked his own death. “I was sick of all of the BS” said Morrison. “I just wanted some peace and quiet. It was surprisingly easy to fake my death and disappear. Of course I purposely picked France since they are a bunch of dummies over there. Pamela helped me and I jumped on a plane and headed to Africa.”

“People are stupid, no one ever saw a body, there was no autopsy. Everyone just took Pamela’s word for it that I died. I spent some time roaming the earth. Then I worked on a fishing boat in De La Croix, and had a small farm in Australia. Pamela then faked her own death and met me in Morocco. Who could believe this, it is crazier than the lone gunman JFK story.”

“We eventually found our way to upstate NY. I was living under the name Douglas James. My real name is James Douglas Morrison. Real clever huh? I did odd jobs and worked at a local coffee house. Sometimes I would read my poems at the open mic night. It has been a nice life. Now I am ready to get the band back together and go on tour. I hear Robby and John are still around.”