Daryl Hall Saves Babies From Burning Building

Musician Daryl Hall heroically saved a bunch of children from a burning building on Sunday. Evidently not all heroes wear capes. All things considered, Some heroes have long luxurious hair and sing like an effin angel.

Hall, 72, says he was walking down the street in West Philly around 6 AM when he noticed flames coming out of a 2nd story apartment building window … and sprang into action. “I see a guy hanging out the window screaming that his kids were in there,” Hall told Madhouse News. “I calmly took off my very expensive High Country Shearling Sheepskin coat and went to work.”

Daryl Hall Saves Babies

“My man just started throwing babies out … and we was catching them” said Hall. “I must have caught like 15 kids and 2 cats. Right before half time, I was running post patterns, making 1 armed grabs, we even started keeping score. Eventually I got caught up in the excitement and I almost spiked one baby.”

“Most people don’t know that I was a High School football star” said Hall. “I was All American and I lettered in 4 sports. Basically If a ball is within 1 foot of me, I will catch it. Same thing goes for babies. You throw a baby to me and I am going to catch it. “

Go Team

Philly Fire Chief, Ed Holzman stated, “The building was set ablaze after one of the sports teams either won or lost. It really doesn’t matter anymore, win, lose or draw, the drunken fans go on a rampage trying to burn the city to the ground. It happens after every game now.”

At this point Philadelphia’s Mayor declared it to be Daryl Hall day and presented the singer with the key to the city, a cheesesteak, a bullet proof vest and a pretzel. “That key to the city thing is a bunch of crap” said Hall. “It doesn’t open anything.”

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