Daryl Hall Replaces John Oates With Ventriloquist Dummy
Daryl Hall, the silky-voiced half of the legendary pop duo, has decided to replace John Oates with none other than a ventriloquist dummy! This happened one day after it was revealed that Hall was suing Oates and also took out a restraining order on him. According to inside sources, Hall was inspired by a late-night infomercial and felt that a ventriloquist dummy could bring a fresh and unexpected element to their performances.
Hall revealed his new singing partner on an episode of his television show, “Live From Daryl’s House”. Daryl explained the dummy is named Oates McDoucheface. He is a dapper-looking dummy with a toothy grin, and a perfectly coiffed mustache. Hall had fans in stitches with the hysterical ventriloquist act.
Daryl Hall vs John Oates
Hall brought out the dummy and introduced him as Baba Booey from the Stern show. He then unleashed a bunch of jokes, “You may be a dummy but my last partner was so dumb it took him two hours to watch 60 minutes. And speaking of charm, he had all the charm of a dock strike.” Hall and his dummy then sang a few Hall & Oates songs together. Daryl then commented, “Those songs never sounded better”.
John Oates got word of the new ventriloquist act and kidnapped Oates McDoucheface. He sent Daryl the dummy’s finger and told him every day he would be sending a new piece of the dummy unless his demands were met. Apparently John wants Daryl to drop the lawsuit and restraining order. He then wants to change the band name to Oates & Hall and wants a 60-40 split.
Daryl Hall met John Oates at a cockfight in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The pair fled into the woods when the police raided the barn. They spent the night hiding in the woods together and formed a band the next day. The rest is history. They went on to sell 40 billion records, making them the best selling music duo in history. They had six No. 1 hits on the Billboard Hot 100 and 34 chart hits in total.
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