Court Rules Paul Simon Must Reveal All 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

A federal judge has ruled that musician Paul Simon must reveal all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Michael Watts sued Simon in a California court for breach of contract. Watts alleged that in the 1975 hit song Simon implied there would be Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover. However the song only lists five ways. The court ruled in Watts favor and Simon must now cough up the other 45 ways or face fines and prison.

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” was the second single off of Simon’s 1975 album, “Still Crazy After All These Years”. The song featured one of the most recognizable drum riffs by legendary session drummer Steve Gadd. It became Simon’s only number one hit as a solo artist. A fun fact is that the day the song hit number one, Edie Brickell won her third grade spelling bee. Edie is Simon’s much younger wife.

Michael Watts a propane salesman from Rancho Cucamonga, California sued Simon in superior court for breach of contract and won. Watts told Madhouse News, “It always irked me. I love that song and used to sing it all the time as a little kid. One day I started listing all the ways to leave your lover. I said to myself, Hey wait a minute, there are only 5 ways in this song. What a gyp, Simon owes me 45 more ways and I want them.”

Court Rules Paul Simon Must Reveal All 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Watts hired an attorney and started a class action lawsuit against Simon. Simon’s wife Edie Brickell even joined the class action suit against her husband. Brickell released a statement, “I always wondered about this myself. He would never tell me. That is why I beat his a$$ because he would not tell me and we got into a heated argument. Next thing I know I am beating him over the head with his guitar and screaming Get Yourself Free over and over.”

Slip Out the Back Jack

The lyrics to the song are as follows: You just slip out the back Jack. Make a new plan Stan. You don’t need to be coy Roy. Just get yourself Free. Hop on the bus Gus. You don’t need to discuss much. Just drop off the key Lee and get yourself free.

“You see what I am saying” said Watts. “That is barely 5 ways and they are crappy ways at that. The song implies Simon is going to tell me something I don’t already know. Hop on a bus, slip out the back what kind of crap is that.”

Paul Simon

When reached for comment, Simon replied, “I am not paying these jerks a dime. Instead I will write a new song and I will list 50 actual ways this time. Who knows, maybe I will even get Garfunkel to sing on it. Steve Martin will play banjo and Edie can sing background. I will make a fortune.”