Coronavirus Traced Back to Strip Club Buffet in NJ

The CDC has made a shocking announcement that reverses it’s initial announcement concerning the coronavirus. 

It was originally thought that Covid-19 originated in China, from eating bat testicles and rat penis, but it turns out it originated at a strip club in Secaucus, NJ. 

That’s right, the coronavirus outbreak started at the ‘Boom Boom Room’ on Rt. 9 in Secaucus, NJ. The virus originated in the Chicken Parmesan served at the club’s lunch buffet. The lukewarm, week old chicken, apparently mixed with stripper juice and fermented. Dancer, Cappuccino Jones, ate the Chicken covered in edible glitter and with a side of Macaroni and pubes. 

Jones, part of a stripper exchange program with China, flew to China and immediately began to feel ill on the plane ride to Wuhan. Jones had explosive diarrhea on the plane and all over Wuhan. This is why it is believed that it originated in Wuhan, but technically it originated in Secaucus, NJ.

The ‘Boom Boom Room’ stated that it has since made a fresh batch of Chicken Parm and washed the dishes. Club spokesperson, Ralphie Bonpensiero, stated “come on down and check out our $1 Tacos on Tuesday and enjoy a free cup of lobster bisque. Our Chocolate fountain dessert is to die for.”

The CDC has since sent an emergency crew to shut the club down, and burn it to the ground.