Confused Joe Biden Forgets Pants For Press Conference

Joe Biden delivered a speech addressing the Russian invasion of Ukraine and laid out his plan concerning how he would handle the situation if he were president. Some were impressed with Joe’s speech, but what they did not see is what happened behind the scenes. 

 A confused Biden, showed up to the CNN TV Studios wearing his usual sharp blue suit, but he forgot to wear pants. That’s right, Biden showed up in his boxers and bare feet, ready to go. Wardrobe and handlers found Joe some shoes and pants and ushered him behind a desk. 

Brezhnev

The speech you finally witnessed on TV was a long time coming. It took over 50 takes to get right. In a bizarre intro, Biden suggested ‘blood letting’ and pulled out some leeches from his pocket. Biden then banged his shoe on the podium and shouted that he will bury Brezhnev and the USSR.

Biden flirted with the women in the studio, sang some songs and then went into a tirade about how he believes everything can be cured with the ‘Babylonian Skull Cure’ or a shot of castor oil. Joe then pulled out a bottle of ‘Dr. J Collis Browne’s Famous Elixir’, that cures all of your ills, and proceeded to do a commercial for the ancient product. 

Eventually he was brought back on track and given an ice cream cone. “I like ice cream” said Joe. “Sorry I am late to the press conference, I like to watch People’s Court every day at this time. I took a little nap and made a poopy. Who are you again?”

Eventually Biden’s handlers fed him the lines to the speech one by one and then spliced it all together in post production editing for the final product seen by viewers. 

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