Conan O’Brien Alleges Johnny Depp Scissors Attack Left His Hair in Shambles

Actor Johnny Depp who is embroiled in legal drama with ex wife Amber Heard was hit with a new allegation. Comedian and talk show host Conan O’Brien alleges Johnny Depp assaulted him and Kieran Culkin with a pair of scissors leaving the pair horribly disfigured.

“Johnny was a guest on my show” weeped O’Brien. “He seemed very inebriated in the green room prior to the show. Depp was dressed in his Edward Scissorhands costume, complete with scissor hands. I think he was all hopped up on goofballs and acting erratically. It was very frightening. When it was time for Depp’s appearance, Kieran Culkin and I tried to take Johnnys drink away and escort him to the stage. He became enraged and attacked us both. Scissors and hair were flying everywhere. I can still hear the sound of Johnny laughing maniacally, metal hitting metal and Kieran’s cries for help. It was my Viet Nam.”

Edward Scissorhands

Depp of course starred as Edward Scissorhands in the 1990 film of the same name. The movie directed by weirdo Tim Burton, is a fantasy romance film. In it, Depp plays an artificial humanoid named Edward, an unfinished creation who has scissor blades instead of hands. The young man is taken in by a suburban family and falls in love with their teenage daughter, Kim. Hilarity ensues, especially during the toilet scenes.

Conan O’Brien Alleges Johnny Depp Scissors Attack Left His Hair in Shambles

Depp is currently in the news as his court drama is being played out in front of the world. Johnny filed a lawsuit against ex wife Amber Heard, accusing her of defaming him in a Washington Post op-ed article. The article described Heard as a victim of domestic violence. Depp alleges that in reality Heard instead physically and verbally attacked him throughout their relationship. The relationship culminated with an infamous fight following a dinner party for Heard’s 30th birthday on April 21, 2016. Johnny claims Amber defecated on their bed and blamed it on the dog.

Justice

O’Brien called Depp a sick F*ck and blames his ridiculous hairdo on the Depp scissor attack. “I have PTSD now” cried Conan. “I have nightmares and have to see a therapist. Before the attack I had some good hair, but Depp jacked it up so bad, it has never looked good since. It is the Same with Kieran. He won’t go out without a hat. Johnny must be brought to justice.”