Cher Vows To Leave America & Move to Hawaii If Trump Wins Again

Pop icon Cher has announced that she will leave America and move to Hawaii if Trump wins the presidency again. That’s right, Cher will pack her sequins, wigs and her French bulldog Chazz and relocate to the country of Hawaii. The Grammy-winning singer, known for her chart-topping hits and timeless fashion sense, took to Twitter to make the grand announcement, sending shockwaves through social media.

The tweet, posted in all caps for dramatic effect, read: “If Trump wins again, I’m leaving America! I got my passport and my bags are packed. It will be Sayonara b*tches and hello to the land of leis! The free country of Hawaii, better get ready for some Cher!” 

Cher To Leave America

Close friends of the star were quick to comment, with one insider revealing, “Cher’s always been one to speak her mind, and this time is no different. I don’t have the heart to tell her that Hawaii is actually part of America. She is very passionate. I just wish she were as intelligent as she is passionate. If you tell her who said this I will deny it, but she really is as dumb as a rock.”

Seventy something Cher is currently dating 36 year old Alexander “A.E.” Edwards. Edwards commented that he would be going wherever Cher went. “She’s my boo, my BAE, wherever she goes, I go. Off the record I think Hawaii is part of America. It’s like the 51st state or something.”

“I am not with the old lady because of her brains. I am with her because she is worth like $100 million. She looks good for her age but damn, she is still almost 80. You ever been with an 80 year old? It ain’t cute, I got 2 words to say about that, Cobwebs & Dust. When we are making our sexy time, I just close my eyes and go to my quiet place in my head. Just like when I was an altar boy.”

Cher commented, “I got some nice cheap waterfront property in Hawaii that Oprah gave me. It will be nice starting over in a new country. I can build a small quaint 10,000 sf cottage on the beach.”  Trump commented, “Cher is a loser, she is nothing without Sonny. Too bad Sonny didn’t take Cher skiing with him. How can you be as old as she is and not know Hawaii is a state? She is a horse face jackass with a low IQ.”

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