Celine Dion Loses Thumbs & Eyebrows in Fireworks Mishap!

Celine Dion suffered serious injuries when a firework exploded in her hand causing both thumbs to pop right off.  Dion also suffered powder burns to her chest, black eyes and had her hair and eyebrows burned off. 

Surgeons were able to reattach Dion’s thumbs, but they accidentally put the thumbs on the wrong hands. 

The incident took place just before 4pm on July 4th. Dion was playing in a field with Wayne Newton, near her home in Las Vegas, when she found an “Onion” bomb.  Dion was attempting to blow up a frog, when the firework exploded in her hand. Wayne Newton scooped up Celine Dion in his arms and ran her to the hospital. Newton stopped and picked up the thumbs, and put them in his sphincter. “I read that if you store the thumbs in a warm moist place, the tissue will stay alive longer” said Newton.

Surgeons were able to reattach the thumbs but stated that it is customary to store limbs in ice and not in your sphincter. “Unfortunately, we attached the thumbs on the wrong hands, but we were rushing, and it was 4th of July, so we were pretty drunk at the time, but hey, backwards thumbs are better than no thumbs right?” said surgeon Michael Beloruski.

Dion is resting comfortably and under sedation. The frog is perfectly fine. Wayne Newton had his mustache singed.