Fornication Added as Olympic Sport for 2021 Games in Tokyo
Olympians, it's time to get frisky. The International Olympic Committee announced today that fornication, or banging, will make its debut...
Sports
Daryl Hall Wins Westminster Dog Show
-By Claudia Stavola- Even though the 2021 Westminster Dog Show doesn’t take place until June, singer Daryl Hall has already...
Eric Clapton Breaks Wingsuit Speed Record
Eric Clapton has broken the world record for greatest speed flown in a wingsuit, making him the fastest man in...
Dancing Trump to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show
An unnamed source has informed Madhouse Sports that Donald J Trump will perform a special dance routine during the halftime...
AC/DC To Perform at Super Bowl. Will Bring Sexy Back
Immediately following last year’s halftime show, Rock n Roll Fans, led by Dee Snider of ‘Twisted Sister’, started a petition...
Keith Richards Wins Tour de France
PARIS -- In a stunning performance for the ages, Tour de France rookie, Keith Richards, won cycling's showpiece race Sunday....
Andy Cohen Reaches Agreement to Purchase the NY Mets
Bravo TV executive and the brains behind the “Real Housewives” franchise, Andy Cohen has reached an agreement Monday to purchase...
NFL Helmets to Feature Serial Killers Names This Season
NFL announced today, that player helmets will prominently feature the names of serial killers such as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy,...
Russell Westbrook Kidnapped by Iron Maiden Trivia Militia
By Claudia Stavola A gang of old guys with gamer’s thumbs snuck into the Orlando bubble Friday night and grabbed...
NHL Commentator Mike Milbury Stuck at Home with A Bunch of Women
By Claudia Stavola Disgraced sports announcer Mike Milbury decided to leave Toronto during the NHL playoffs after his comments about...
Fauci Blames Bad First Pitch on ‘Damn Mask’
Dr Anthony Fauci delivered the first pitch on Opening Day when the Washington Nationals hosted the mighty New York Yankees...
Redskins Unveil New Name and Logo: Washington Red Formans
Just one day after the Redskins announced they were retiring their nickname and logo, the team debuted a brand new...
Paul McCartney Wins Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest
In a shocking upset, Paul McCartney won the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest. The contest was held at a...
Bob Dylan Wins Welterweight Boxing Championship
On this day in 1994, 53 year old Bob Dylan defeated Welterweight champion, Jake Rodriguez, in an exciting 12 round,...
Pete Rose Inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
By Claudia Stavola Pete Rose will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next year according to...
AC/DC To Headline 2021 Super Bowl! NFL Insists The Band Learns Pole Dancing
Roger Goodell and The NFL have announced that in order for AC/DC to be considered for next year’s Super bowl...
A-Rod Admits He Can’t Name More Than One J-Lo Song
Jennifer Lopez headlined the Super Bowl halftime show and that led us to poll Football fans at the stadium. It...
Harvey Weinstein Demands ‘Trial by Combat’ in Court Case Against Rose McGowan
In a shocking move, Harvey Weinstein has asked a NY court to agree to trial by combat. He explained in...
Rod Stewart to Fight Conor McGregor at UFC 246
Conor McGregor had many opponents to choose from for his long-awaited UFC return, but ultimately chose to lock horns with...
Keith Richards Plans to Break Motorcycle Jump Records
On New Year's Eve, legendary rocker Keith Richards will kick off a series of daredevil stunts in the hopes to break all...
David Lee Roth Joins Olympics Figure Skating Team
By Courtney Cronin Dold The former Van Halen front man has finally found a place to wear his tight pants...
Charo Added to Superbowl Lineup
By Claudia Stavola While many have been heaping praise on the NFL for co-headlining two individuals from marginalized sectors of...
Houston Astros Deported After New Cheating Scandal Uncovered
The entire Houston Astros team was deported to Cuba today after a shocking cheating scandal was uncovered. A landslide of...
Elton John Named as New Manager of NY Mets!
The New York Mets have hired singer Elton John to replace Mickey Callaway as the team's manager. The team announced Elton's hire...
Keith Richards Amazing Transformation!
Thanks to an Amazing new diet and exercise program, Keith Richards incredible transformation has to be seen to be believed. ...
Jockeys Headed For Slaughterhouse After Losing Kentucky Derby
A sad reality of racing is that a majority of Jockey's that lose The Kentucky end up in the slaughterhouse. It...
Eddie Vedder Pitches 3 Innings For Cubs!
In an effort to make the most of an "awkward, difficult day," manager Joe Maddon summoned Rock singer Eddie Vedder...
Mr. Met Pees in Fans Beer!
The season turned sour real quick for MLB, when Mr. Met urinated in a fans beer! The bulbous headed mascot for...
All Horses Disqualified, Cher Wins Kentucky Derby!
In a shocking reversal to a reversal, Cher and her horse "Prickly Pete", were named winners of the 145th Kentucky...
Elton John Pretends to be Disabled to Win Special Olympics!
Elton John is allegedly pretending to be disabled and confined to a wheelchair, in order to win this year's special...
