Cardi B Most Likely Choice to Replace Justice Breyer On Supreme Court

With the announcement that Justice Stephen Breyer will be stepping down from the Supreme Court, rumors are swirling on who will replace him. While on the campaign trail, Biden vowed to put a hot woman of color on the supreme court.

Insiders on Capitol Hill have told us at Madhouse News that Cardi B is the front runner. “Biden wants a hot chick on the court” said an unnamed source close to the President. “He really loves Cardi B and says she smells good. Of course dat a$$ doesn’t hurt either. He likes them thick. Thicker the better.” 

Retirement

Breyer 83, has been on the supreme court since 1994. When asked why he is retiring now, Breyer replied “I will tell you the truth, I am retiring now because they are forcing me to retire. Hillary showed up at my house in the middle of the night and showed me a suicide note with my name on it. She said listen you sonofabitch, we are not having another Ginsburg on our hands. We are going to lose everything in 2022 and we cant afford you dropping dead on us, so you will step down now!”

When told of the news Cardi B released a brief video on social media. In the video Cardi B twerked, stuck out her tongue, and showed her pierced vagina as she called on her supporters to join with her to “claim our future yo.”

“Justice. Decency. Equality. Freedom. Democracy. Pu$$y Sweat. These aren’t just words. They’re the values we as Americans cherish. And they’re all on the line now,” Cardi B said in the video, as she took off her top. “I’m just a regular degular shmegular girl from the Bronx yo. I would be a dope Supreme Court justice.”

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