Bruce Springsteen Spotted at Jersey Shore Beach Wearing a “Mankini”

A few days ago, a shirtless Bruce Springsteen visited a local retailer in Manasquan, NJ. Today he was spotted again on the beach in Manasquan wearing a yellow “Mankini”. 

Fans were excited to see the Jersey Shore icon, but others were not that excited to see Bruce’s sack and flabby buttocks. 

“OMG – this is a family beach. No one wants to see that” said beach goer Freddie Fry. “It’s a bit much. He was over there doing deep knee bends earlier. I threw up in my mouth. Moms were covering the children’s eyes. It was a horror show.”

It was nice to see him the other day visiting a local business” said local Linda Heftel. “But it’s enough now. Shouldn’t he go back to Asbury Park or something? We had our fill.” 

Besides the deep knee bends, Bruce was also seen doing beach yoga in his Mankini. When Bruce went into his downward dog pose, the beach got a real eye full. 

“Wow” said Lisa Adams, “I enjoyed seeing a shirtless Bruce the other day on the beach, but I don’t need to see his twigs and berries. This was more like an internal examination than a day at the beach. I am pretty shaken up.”

No shoes, No shirt, No Mankini’s

Bruce was barred from entering a local Wawa convenience store while wearing said Mankini. “Oh no” said store manager, Mike Maccioli. “we have a strict no Mankini policy here. Sales go way down when a man wearing a Mankini enters the store.” Maccioli pointed to a sign that read, “No shoes, no shirt, no service and NO MANKINI’s”. 

“I can’t wait for school to start now” said local teen Maria Carbone. “My summer’s ruined. I was having such a good time at the beach with my friends. I was enjoying the sun, surf and good times. Then an elderly man shows up in a Mankini! That should be illegal!”