Bruce Springsteen Smiles For Camera Before Drowning Elderly Man

Bruce Springsteen Drowns Man. Musician Bruce Springsteen smiled for the camera just moments before drowning an elderly man in the ocean. Witnesses reported that Bruce was just relaxing on the beach when the old man encroached too close to the boss. One thing led to another and the incident ended with Bruce throwing the old man into the sea.

It all began on a sunny afternoon at the Jersey Shore, where Springsteen was relaxing and soaking up some rays. Springsteen was minding his own business eating spicy Cheetos while slathered in tanning oil. Bruce goes old school, there is no sun screen for him. It is SPF 4 tanning butter and a silver reflector.

Bruce Springsteen Drowning Man

The old man and his wife came and plopped down directly next to Bruce and his family. This irked Bruce as the beach was basically empty and there was plenty of room. Springsteen explained to the man that there was an unwritten Jersey Shore beach etiquette. “This ain’t Jones Beach or Coney Island. Are you from Staten Island?” yelled Bruce. “Go home Benny, when you are at the Jersey Shore you give people space, there’s plenty of room.”

Bruce Springsteen Smiles For Camera Before Drowning Elderly Man

The old man began mocking Bruce, “If you were my boss, I would quit. I heard you whacked that b*tch little Steven on the nads with a car antennae. Did you see Big Mike’s Johnson? You haven’t had a good song in 40 years.” The man then dumped a bag of potato chips out on the sand. This drew a horde of sea gulls descending upon Bruce and his family.

As the man and his wife went for an ice cream cone, Bruce took the man’s belongings and threw them into the ocean. When they returned they confronted the boss. The elderly man began screaming in Bruce’s fan and then kicked sand on Springsteen. This was the final straw for Bruce.

Bruce then picked the man up like a sack of potatoes and walked into the Ocean. He turned and posed for a picture holding the man. Springsteen had a huge smile on his face. At this point Bruce threw the old man into the sea. He then held the man down for a bit. “He fought hard” said Bruce but he was no match for me. I was only joking but then the rip currents were quite strong and swept the man out. He almost drowned but the lifeguards were able to save him and revive him in the nick of time. Hopefully he learned a little bit of Jersey beach etiquette. Follow the rules or get drowned.”