Bruce Springsteen Shows Off New Butt Implants

In a shocking move, Bruce Springsteen revealed his new butt implants and curvy figure to the world. The photos will appear on the cover of Time, Newsweek and Rolling Stone. 

The revelation came during a risque photoshoot with acclaimed rock n roll photographer Claude Balzac. Bruce recreated the photoshoot for his classic Born in the USA album cover. The original 1984 album cover featured a man’s buttocks in blue jeans posing in front of an American flag back drop. 

Little Steven

Did you know, that for the original famous cover photo, taken by Annie Leibowitz, Bruce had a “butt double”. It turns out the actual butt used for the cover is not Bruce Springsteen’s butt, it is actually E Street Band member Steven Van Zandt’s butt, who happened to work his way through college as a successful butt model.  *BTW Is her name Leibowitz or Leibovitz?

It was a very sore spot for Springsteen that Van Zandt’s butt was used over his. He never got over it. But no matter how many squats he did or how much he worked out, he could never surpass Van Zandt’s buttocks. “Steven’s derriere was sublime” said E Street Band original drummer, Vini Lopez. “Bruce was very touchy about it. I was fired from the band for calling Bruce ‘No Butt’. He had no sense of humor about it at all.”

What mother nature and genetics could not give Bruce, technology could. Springsteen received state of the art butt implants from Dr. Peyton Wise of Beverly Hills. “I got the biggest juiciest implants money could buy” giggled Bruce. “Take that little Steven! If you got it flaunt it, I always say.”

Daisy Dukes

Bruce, looking to capture a little of his glory days, recreated the famous album cover while wearing daisy dukes jean shorts. They are so short you can determine his religion. “It was very empowering” said Bruce. “I felt like a schoolboy”.

Born in the USA is a quintessential Rock n Roll album that captured the anger and bitterness seething beneath the surface of Reagan-era America. And we don’t even know what quintessential means. The album produced 13 top-10 hit singles, which is odd because there are only 12 songs on the album. 

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