Bruce Springsteen is the New Spokesperson for White Claw

Bruce Springsteen, hot off an alleged DWI arrest in NJ and an exciting Super Bowl ad, is now the new spokesperson for White Claw. 

Springsteen was allegedly arrested in November for allegedly driving while intoxicated, reckless driving and consuming alcohol in a closed area while dressed inappropriately. It is alleged Bruce was wearing only his cowboy hat and soiled underpants at the time.

An unnamed source told Madhouse News that Bruce had consumed 7 White Claws and was attempting to recreate the car surfing scene from Footloose. For those unfamiliar with the 1984 Kevin Bacon classic film, a teenage girl climbs out of the window of her vehicle and wriggles her way between two vehicles and stands up with one foot inside the window of both cars. Bruce was attempting a similar daredevil act, by standing on the roof of his own moving car, when he was apprehended. 

A Parks Dept Officer made the arrest, but did not know who the offender was. “He kept screaming I’m the Boss, I’m the Boss dammit!” said Officer Balzac. “I thought it was just a regular drunken fool. I still don’t know who Bruce Springsteen is. I am 25 and I like Heavy Metal music. When I told my Pop Pop about it, he was so mad. He screamed at me, You arrested The Boss! What is wrong with you. My father made me move into the garage. My mom didn’t make me lunch. Everyone is so mad at me, I was just doing my job.”

When the news of the arrest broke, fans started a Go Fund Me to help Bruce with his legal bills and any ensuing fines. “It could turn out to be a couple hundred dollars” said fan Dan Bedrosian. “It’s the least we can do for Bruce after all he has done for us. Bruce is one of us. He is just an average guy from NJ – It’s true that Bruce is worth $500 million but he needs that money for yachts and stuff.”

When White Claw headquarters heard that Bruce was drinking White Claws before his arrest, they immediately sprung into action. A spokesperson announced the company has started a new ad campaign with Bruce called “There Ain’t No Laws When You’re Drinking Claws”. The spokesperson continued, “This could make us popular with a whole new demographic. We have cornered the young white girl market, but this is a game changer.”